Jung’s Different Stages of Life Plus Midlife Crisis as a Wake-up Call

So I recently stumbled (and that occurred via various detours, signposts, and coincidences) upon Jung’s essay on the different phases of life. Let me state though that neither Jung nor myself actually believe in coincidences, so this essay found its way to me at the right moment or rather at the right stage of my life.

More on this later but suffice to say that the essay is a more condensed and somewhat rudimentary version of psychodynamic development as it is lacking the fullness and detail of Erik Erikson’s explicit stages. Nonetheless, Jung’s approach has its own rather interesting flair with the focus being more on main themes of life as opposed to outlining specific conflicts and struggles within certain life periods.

From the get-go, Jung states his views on the differences, distinctions, and dynamic interplay between instinct and consciousness. Instinct is how we respond to events and our surroundings and it is set by nature. Yet it is consciousness that represents a different and perhaps more unique and individualized way of doing things. Jung contrasts consciousness from instinct and nature and equates it with culture, which represents moving away from both instinct and nature.

In that sense, culture as a form of growing consciousness is something that has refined itself over the many centuries and may even challenge natural processes or ways of doing things as it continues to evolve. Culture is richer and more sophisticated in thought, reflection, and action whereas nature is more passive, counts on reflexes, prefers routines and rituals and tends to be less progressive in outlook and philosophy.

None of this should be confused with society, which may confuse itself and others throughout the process. Society may aid but often tends to block and hinder consciousness. For instance, society prizes achievement as opposed to personality. Achievements tend to be things you do but does not really take into account who you are.

The latter occurs posthumously where personality would be acknowledged and recognized since achievements have now run their course. Such and such was a kind and wonderful person is heard more on funerals than in real-life situations. Hence, we can see that money, status, social standing and even family are not elements of culture but rather of instinct. They are driving us toward survival but less so towards growth and thriving.

Interestingly, Jung is not particularly interested in the first phase, namely that of childhood; no wonder because it is such a vital complex stage upon which there is already tons of excellent psychanalytic literature in existence. He also adds old age as a coda that he barely fleshes out except to say that it functions in the same vein as childhood. Both stages make us dependent upon others; in the case of children for bare survival and that can also be reflected in older age especially if there are deteriorating health conditions involved. Those phases tend to be more instinctual in outlook and lifestyle and more often than not mandated by necessity or biological parameters and determinants.

Hence, Jung’s principal focus is on the adjacent stages of young adulthood as well as midlife. This is mainly because of the previously mentioned distinguishing characteristics between instinct and consciousness. As instinct is our natural operating process, we do not need reflection or evaluation but act like reflexes according to our physical and mental needs.

We sleep when we are tired and eat when we are hungry. Generally speaking, this automatic status does not involve much thought or struggle; the child depends upon others to feed them and is dimly aware of any potential dangers and difficulties and does not have to make specific choices. In fact, they may not be aware of any other choices or alternatives.

In contrast, the youth becomes more aware of their surroundings and must begin to not only make decisions but also distinguish themselves from other beings; hence, the seed of individuation is planted within the individual’s psyche. It is this consciousness, which leads that person to reach their zenith; young adulthood may propel us on making it in the world, i.e. attaining success and social standing and of potentially taking care of a family.

As we can see the focus is on the outer world and material aspects are brought into the foreground. Money not personality is the factor that is highly correlated with success and distinguishes one person in society from another. This is part of the drive of the instinct and survival, which includes everything from money to social standing and even starting a family.

To reiterate, instinct is linked to nature, while consciousness is the stepping away from both instinct and nature and is more closely tied to culture. It becomes interesting that social values are often aligned with instinct and nature and not so much with consciousness at least not in their individual form and format.

Sadly, as Jung notes in his essay, personality is not encouraged nor celebrated enough during a lifetime; in fact, it is often underlined posthumously when people claim how such and such person was very good, responsible, or caring. During their lifetimes, we are a work of progress, and our personality plays second fiddle, and especially in our current climate a simple faux pas or a few misspoken words may quickly unravel a whole of life of dedication and moral fortitude like a house of cards.

With this in mind, we can now enter the meats and bones of Jung’s argument. Barring the first and the fourth and final phase, where we tend to be more limited and restrained in capacity and capability, young and middle adulthood are the most fruitful and productive stages of our lives.

In the former, we are making a name for ourselves, but we are also prioritizing certain aspects over others. The values of success gain dominance over those of personality. Certain wishes and desires are driven into the unconscious. For instance, childhood dreams may be ignored, and more importance is given to more practical solutions and outcomes. Becoming an artist, writer or filmmaker does not cut it and instead we look for more stable professions that guarantee a certain amount of income.

At the same time, we may make romantic choices more upon feasibility and suitability and less on love and passion. Any time we make a decision, it comes at the expense of something else, so it involves a certain kind of compromise or rupture, whether this is done consciously or unconsciously is up for debate. Incidentally, with decisions, we engage in a type of cision as we cut away all the surrounding potentials and end up with a certain piece that is concrete and rather limited in its form and scope.

Yet all the decisions we do not make, all the dreams we do not pursue continue to be lodged in our unconscious. This may be when we have everything we wished for, a family, a house, a car, a job with a stable income but something is definitely missing. And yet, we cannot put a finger upon our malaise except that something is off.

Most of the things we were striving for do not cut it for us. We still see value in them and appreciate them, but we also realize that it came at a cost. There are two options from here on. Middle age can be the time where we continue to ignore those nagging desires and continue and march on. This can then carry over into old age that is filled with regrets, resentment and a feeling or sense of missed opportunities.

Unfortunately, at that point, it may be too late to do anything. Jung even provides a French quote here: “Si jeunesse savait, si vieillesse pouvait” to demonstrate the dilemma, if youth only knew and had the answers of our mature state and if only old age had the power and prowess to make it happen. And at that point, especially if you do not believe in an afterlife, you may come to believe that your life had little to no meaning and did not serve a purpose, and you might get the impression that your life has been wasted.

The other choice is to take action. In that case, what is known and referred as “midlife crisis” can propel us to initiate and even create some kind of transformation. It could be minor or major in its scope and outlook. This is when people drastically change their status quo for something entirely different and something that resonates more with their heart’s desire. It can be actively crossing off our bucket list or a reset to our lives, a new beginning, a new start and lease on life.

At that point, we may also care less about what others think, what society thinks of us or how a life should be lived, a time where we reject to a certain extent the plausible and real for a world that is filled with magic and dreams. Please note that this last part is more about me than Jung, but it is what his essay provokes and ignites in me.

Midlife crisis does not have to be a crisis but rather a message to our psyche that life is too precious to undergo and limit oneself to compromises and sacrifices. It is most important to ground and find oneself not by looking for outward recognition but by looking within and then to live not by the dictates of others, be it parents, loved ones, friends, society or even one’s community but living and thriving according to who you truly are, your very own core sense of being.

Remembrance of Joyful Times Past: The St. John’s College Experience

Last weekend, I had the pleasure of attending the SJC Alumni Celebration Weekend at my previous UBC residence. The place is St. John’s College and although it was wonderful to get to see and reminisce with fellow residents some of whom I had not seen in over two decades, there was a somber underlining to it all: We were about to say goodbye to this landmark building, and we had this three-day event to cherish and celebrate our experiences and to bid adieu to the place that houses many unforgettable memories for each of us.

I have spent two and a half years (I prolonged and extended my degree to as long as I could) and they were some of the happiest times of my life. Why, you may ask and the answer could fill up volumes of novelistic writing; in fact, it could even make for a miniseries, sitcom, soap opera, or telenovela (love, romance, marriage, heartbreak, infidelity, deception, all of which were not unheard of at the times) but my own simple answer is two-fold: first off, I loved studying and was studying what I loved (French literature) and then we had an amazing, buzzing, bubbling, and vibrant community.

There was no time for boredom. The community was fostered organically, that is we were forced to sit together and eat, that included breakfast in the mornings and dinners in the evenings. Breakfasts were a rather subdued undertaking. Not everyone would show up for different reasons; some would trickle in at different hours and when they did, they would not be necessarily in the mood for chatting or they would be hung over or half asleep. I myself would need at least a couple cups of coffee to barely function at that ungodly hour.

The dinners, however, were a whole different story. Everyone showed up at pretty much the same time hungry for food and for social interaction. We were excited to have finished the day of studying, reading, writing, or what-have-you and were there to chew the fat with our meals or share and listen to the latest gossip and anything else under the sun.

Most tables had various often recognizable voices reverberating through the community dining hall. It was always a joy to see and talk to familiar faces, but when that was not the case because you or your friends were late and the tables had already been taken, you did have the opportunity to meet and to talk to new people. Nothing unites people more than breaking bread together and sometimes, we also bonded over bad food. Certain items on the menu - something we were privy to at the beginning of each week - were not exactly among our favorites but that was fine and made us appreciate the good and tasty food items even more. 

For instance, on paella days – that distinct smell still haunts me to this day - I would suddenly turn vegetarian. It succeeded for a while but soon enough, the kitchen assistants grew suspicious, checked their lists, put two and two together and realized that this was not necessarily true. I was outed as an imposter: a non-vegetarian posing as one. You could of course miss the dinner and ask for vouchers but then again, you would not see your friends on that given evening. And that was not an option for me.

What I loved at the time was the list of contact information we were provided with on day one. It included all the names with their room numbers and phone numbers. At the time, we did not have cellphones (I’m carbon dating myself now) but it was wonderful to be able to call up anyone one wanted to see, or you had taken an interest in. No more awkward asking for phone numbers; we were supplied with them already.

In fact, there were visitors coming in and out at pretty much any time of the day. We had a revolving door policy. It was especially interesting to see and notice who walked out of whose room during night hours. I remember some of us getting caught in flagrante a few times crossing the courtyard at night where smokers would nod and acknowledge us with a grin and then share the intel with everyone at the next dinner event. Yet at least whatever happened at St. John’s did stay there. Not that it had anywhere else to go for that matter.

Yet I remember vividly the various events that enriched the whole experience. It was often ideas proposed by residents, but the office also had several interesting initiatives of their own. This ranged from regular speaker series where we had a chance to share our interests, research or otherwise and then there were informal language courses offered by residents for residents. As if that was not enough, we also had movie nights, hiking and sports events, choir, Improv, theater, coffee houses, and many more. There were some others after my stay and sadly I cannot comment upon them.

I very much enjoyed my Improv experience, and it was something that helped me with my teaching. It was instructive to be on your feet, be alert and respond quickly. Comedy is all about timing and through this experience, teaching was not just sharing knowledge and information but responding to different situations and questions more spontaneously and without overthinking. It is a theory I tried to develop as “framed spontaneity.”

And yes, it also made the class much more fun and me funnier in the class. And our Improv group performed a few times in front our own community, but we also did a show to welcome undergrads, and we each got a T-shirt for it as a token of appreciation. This was to date my only official payment for doing Improv and I hope that we did not scare off the new students at the event.

At SJC, I did delve into sports too but with varying success. We had a field hockey team that ended up being the worst in the league – this is not hyperbole, but we were literally dead last just like the Vancouver Canucks this year. I remember at one point asking the ref for the score and it took him half a minute to count all the goals we had accumulated against us. I immediately regretted wanted to know. We also brought in a contraband goalie, my brother, to help our chances and it ended up destroying his confidence for good. He never was a goalie after this, and I take full responsibility for this outcome.

Yet, we also had two volleyball teams: there were the Eagles and the Eaglets. One of them was in it for competition, the other one was in it to have fun. I was in the fun category of course. Losing did not faze us, and we shrugged it off skillfully (some might say masterfully), but we did have one memorable showdown against our own competitive team. And that night, against all odds and perhaps because it came upon the heels of a gala dinner night where wine made me less scared of the volleyball, we won against our fellow Johanneans.

Some of the players in the competitive team were upset and did not talk to me for a whole week but that remained such an unforgettable event for us. I remember celebrating with R. (more on her later) that same night. Moral lesson: Never lose hope because one day, you will beat those who are better than you.

Apart from scheduled and impromptu events – quite a memorable one would be the infamous room crawl, but memories are hazy on that account yet I remember it was a blast and we may or may not have ended up dancing and potentially stripping on the pool table and there may or may not be a photo of this somewhere - there was also the monthly gala dinner where we all dressed up semi-formally and formally ate delicious food with a copious amount of wine.

Many pictures were taken at those events. Again, we are talking about an era before cellphones and digital cameras so there was effort involved in getting the film developed etc. and they were snapshots of precious moments. As I was reviewing them, there were some names that have been forgotten but it was wonderful to have a chance to check with residents at the SJC celebration event and most of those names have been fortunately recovered.

There are some faces I will never forget. Apart from dear friends, there are also my more than half a dozen crushes (you probably know who you are). There were a few I had the fortune to date very briefly but most of them remained out of reach due to my shyness at the time. Some of them could have turned into something more lasting but in one case, let’s call her R., I was not at my best. From the get-go it was casual and was not meant to be serious; that said, I appreciated her very much, but I don’t think I showed it enough. As she said to me once, SJC was my world and I was so enmeshed in it that I could not perceive any other place outside of it.

I might have denied it at the moment, but she was absolutely right and hit the nail on the head. SJC was my go-to fairy tale place that blurred the lines with reality. To get me out of my cocoon, R. devised a wonderful adventure. I was supposed to leave the premises and all I needed to take with me was a toothbrush. I was given a note with clear instructions (again no cellphones), and I had to follow them to the letter. I did so and for a moment the world outside of my residence came into focus. But the moment we returned to SJC; I fell into my trance and slumber. I was both hopeful and terrified to see R. at this final reunion, but she did not make it.

It is still hard to imagine that the building will no longer stand. When I moved in, it was still new; now there were some natural misgivings. Aging may be good for wine and even certain people but as a rule, this does not apply to building structures. I was told nay warned that my hallway had a peculiar and strange smell around it and our current tour avoided it like the pest. But I could not resist and had to see it or rather smell it for myself. And yes, there was something funky that had not been there in the past.

As mentioned earlier, the event was a three-day affair that included a pizza reception on Friday evening, a gala dinner on Saturday and a brunch on Sunday. I signed up for all three but was considering skipping the brunch. When I arrived at SJC, I noticed my name tag was missing. I assured them and I assure you now that I did register and pay and felt a bit sad that they had not included my name there. However, as I looked through the tags, there were certain names that I recognized and was looking forward to talk to those fellow alumni soon. I got to use a makeshift one for oneself.

As I sat there, more and more familiar faces trickled in. Most of them looked very similar to how I remembered them, one of them, don’t ask me how, looked even younger than I remembered him – yes, I’m looking at you Kent! – and it was interesting to hear that among those that had kids, they tended to be of the same age as my son. This created an interesting common bonding experience, a sort of biological rhythm with people I had not talked to in two decades. It was also great to see what they were up to and to update them on my own exploits and adventures.

This was quite the event after all and I even met someone amazing who moved in after me but like me had gotten a good portion of her studies and readings done at Wreck Beach! Although she went to see the beach again, I'm still slated to do so sometime soon. 

I did not skip the brunch after all. Unlike the breakfasts, this one was well attended. We were encouraged to do graffiti on the building and off the record were told that we could scrape off our room number sign. Although there were still a few people residing at SJC, they might be confused but would not have issues finding their room without the attached number. Or so we were told. Well, I sure hope so because I could not resist to take this lasting souvenir with me as a physical reminder of a very precious time in my life.

The old building will be gone, and the clocktower will be no more, which served as a quintessential meeting place – “meet me at the clocktower” was a common and easily understood phrase that facilitated our meetings and get-togethers. And I want to thank everyone directly and indirectly associated with St. John’s College: Chef Clarence for feeding and taking care of us all over all those years (he is happily retired now), my fellow Johanneans from the past, the current ones and those yet to come, and each and everyone for making this vibrant community last and prosper since time immemorial and for a long time to come. 

Novel Experiences and Their Effects on Memory: Reflections on Dr. Lila Davachi’s Quinn Memorial Lecture 2026

It is that time of the year again for me: To attend the annual lecture of the Quinn Memorial, which has become a dear tradition to me. I started going to these fascinating and memorable lectures more than a dozen years ago and it is something I look forward to every year. The only times I have missed the Quinn Memorial were due to the pandemic where it was canceled or due to other commitments, for instance, work or appointments that I could not escape from.

Let it also be stated that part of my own personal tradition includes the complimentary and much appreciated glass of wine (I usually opt for red) as well as a brief chat and a few questions for the renowned speaker, all reasons why an online option is not feasible and only half the experience.

This time around I did something I had not done previously: I invited a handful of people to come along with me. Doing new things or doing things differently with its effects on memory will be discussed further below but the main reason I had not done this before was that as a generally reserved and private person, I like to go there alone. That way I could pay close attention and take notes during the talk. Also, I felt that I could freely mingle afterwards and talk to other guests and meet a variety of people. As a final point, it was also because I did not feel that many people in my social circle would be genuinely interested in these types of talks and lectures.

As the subject coincided with an upcoming book club discussion of Andy Clark’s The Experience Machine (more on this later as well), I figured that there might be some interest and perhaps overlap with group members, but alas, yet again, I ended up going solo. It was a shame because it was another wonderful talk that I would have loved to share with likeminded friends, but I get it, people are busy; they have busy lives and priorities, or they may simply not be as interested in these events as myself.

But enough preamble and let’s dive in! The talk was entitled “The wisdom of the unconscious mind: offline reactivation consolidates, integrates, and updates knowledge” by Dr. Lila Davachi from Columbia University. The title may not be on par with the talk itself; first off, I must admit that the title on its own does not necessarily sound sexy or exciting and may be a bit too technical particularly with the added subtitle. At the same time, the lack of capitals takes away from the transformative features that were included in the lecture itself, and finally, although it deals with the unconscious, it is a bit of a misnomer because the talk was more about brain processes than the mind per se.

Sadly, not much psychoanalysis to speak of and on the topic of dreams, Dr. Davachi simply stated that neither she nor anybody else she is familiar with has any clue or idea why we dream and what its purpose may be. I differ on this matter, but she has a valid point in terms of memory retrieval and consolidation of course and that was the main focus of her talk.

There were interesting insights alongside a new understanding of how memories are formed, how they are strengthened and/or weakened and, as a language instructor,  I appreciated that she provided some useful tips and vital points on how to be able to consolidate them further so our memories and knowledge do not end up decomposing in the waste bin of our mind.

But what are the different processes that occur in the brain to ensure that we have memories in the first place? I remember from psych undergrad classes that memory was closely tied and connected with the hippocampus. And although that still holds true, the real story is much more complex and more intricate than that.

First off, there are two parts to memories, the encoding and then later its retrieval. The encoding is basically the input, which is then converted into a memory. This often occurs offline, that is the hippocampus replaying the information after the event. Yet the brain is not passive in any of this; it actively selects what to consolidate and what not. In other words, what is deemed relevant is offloaded and distributed to other cortical parts of the brain, and what is not is left behind and may be forgotten completely.

As a result, the memory becomes consolidated not just by replaying it but rather by having it play like an orchestra. If the memory itself is strong, that is salient, vivid and involves an emotional reaction, it becomes more resilient and has a much stronger survival rate. In fact, connectivity is crucial here and can protect against forgetting.

The retrieval itself can come from cues, with some of them being partial. This may be something we see or something someone says that then triggers a memory; we may actively look for specific information or try to recall an event in the past. This is also not only related to the context and the circumstances of the memory event, but it also depends on what happens afterwards, whether it is repeated consciously or subconsciously or not. Sometimes associations and associated occurrences can aid the memory to remain strong even in the face of time.

This can occur in different ways. One of them is reward. If we are expecting a certain reward, we may work harder to ensure that we can later recall the given information. Put differently, it is motivation that can ensure both short and long-term retrieval. This is even more prevalent when we have motivation to remember. Hence reward and repeated encodings improve memory retrieval. This is also true with any information that we prioritize, something that we cherish and value for whatever reason.

It is noteworthy that cortical networks are more stable than just the hippocampus. In this cortical dialogue and interaction, weak memories need to be replayed more than strong memories to ensure that they can be recalled at a later time. There is also a significant difference between recalling simple standalone episodic events versus the gist of the situations and with it some overlapping details. When memories are clustered together, they tend to be more resistant to the erosion of time.

Interestingly, the same can be applied to routine memories if they are combined with novel and interesting or intriguing information. For instance, social and special novelty helps both mood and memory. Going out of your way to take on different activities or to take a different route will not only help you better recall the new information, but it will also make you feel better, excited and aroused. At the same time, all this will color your regular routine actions and make them stand out more than previously or otherwise.

Let’s face it, if you are living on autopilot, your routine actions become a muddled and indiscriminate mess of sorts, and you would either confuse them or forget them altogether. But the moment you encounter something or someone new on your regular path, you remember everything much more vividly and in greater detail while also feeling good about the whole experience.

This is your cue to get out and do something differently. When you do this, you will feel more alive and remember it much better. Carpe diem may not just be about going out there and taking risks but also trying out something new and different. Sure it can involve minimal or moderate amounts of risk but more importantly, just stepping out of your comfort zone or regular routine can indeed aid your overall memory in this case.

Now to return to my book club reading of Andy Clark’s book. His theory is that the brain is not just a passive recipient of sensory information but that it plays an active role in the process. It is not just encoding and processing the information that crosses its path but it constantly tries to predict what will happen.

When the prediction is correct, we can save time and energy and focus on things of greater importance to us. This is not unlike our experience of driving. When we start off, we need to pay close attention to everything around us and try our best to move this metal box in a safe and sound manner. But after time, it becomes more innate and automatic and our brain takes over the driving until or unless something surprising and unexpected occurs needing our attention.

So, during the reception I had the opportunity to ask Dr. Davachi about the brain predicting events and whether salient information would help us remember them better. She said that most likely we would. I then asked her whether the new incoming information would override the previous predictive pattern or maybe have us forget it altogether and replace it with something new.

She said that it depended on how strong the pattern was encoded, whether it was part of a weak or a strong memory. If we took that path more than a dozen times, we may just carry on with as it may be resistant to a single episodic memory or minimal incongruent information. Hence, in the case that the pattern has been more entrenched, it would not be so easily abandoned and replaced.

All this has also some relevance with trauma and traumatic events. They can lead to rumination, which can occur both online and offline. Yet at the same time, they may also become stronger because the brain would read certain cues in that particular light and frame of mind. Hence, for a war survivor, any loud noise can be seen as a potential threat where fireworks or car exhaust backfires may feel threatening.

Yet, on the flip side, good experiences will fill us with positive feelings, and we would look forward to other or similar events. In my case, this was yet another outstanding and memorable event that makes me look forward to the next one, regardless of whether I shall be accompanied or not.