So many Books, So little Time

Sometimes I feel I am lost in Borges labyrinth-sized library. There is an infinite number of books out there in the world that I will never be able to read in my short human lifespan, even if I were to forsake family, work, food, and sleep. So many books will be left unopened and unread; worse, I won't ever know of their existence.

Normally, I would not despair about this fact. Despite being an avid reader, I would simply choose the familiar and beloved authors and philosophers and let all the others be.

Yet how will I know if I have made the right choice? What if I have not yet stumbled upon my most favorite, destined author that could give me unfathomable reading pleasure or even be able to change my life forever? What if his or her works are lurking in a bookstore or library corner gathering dust and being eaten by moth, while I go about ignorantly completing my supposedly meaningful tasks in this world?

A lot of it may have to do with luck – and advertising. What others consider literature may arouse my interest. What close friends suggest as good reading I might take on. What the media or critics rave about, I might actually pick up and read.

It is always intimidating to enter a bookstore or library of any size and be overwhelmed by the odor and the hidden wisdom of so many stacked and shelved books. If I had better hearing, I would hear their whispers echo in the empty spaces. They could call out to me and make me pick up the right book at the right time.

Sometimes I have dreams about books but so far they have been misleading. I dreamed once that I picked up Kazantzakis' Zorba the Greek. I followed the advice, bought it in the same week, read it and felt baffled and disappointed afterward. Why did my higher self want me to read that particular book? Did I fail to read between the lines? Was there a hidden message for me?

In the meantime, I can only try my best and read voraciously whatever crosses my path or catches my interest in the hope that somewhere in those pages I will find my spiritual guide or “soul-mate” - in a philosophy book or a book of excellent fiction. Who knows I might even stumble upon the perfect recipe in a cookbook.

The Eternal Fixation and the Gaping Gap between Desire and Realization

Be careful what you wish for, we often say, and there is a grain of truth in this statement. In many cases, we are either let down or disappointed when we finally reach our goal. It is part of human nature and make-up, I suppose. We spend, for example, weeks, months, years in order to reach our destined objective, and then we may enjoy it for a bit, but soon it wears off like any old hat, and we are left with our desire for more and evermore, for variety or more of the same but in improved presentation.

Yet at the same time, they often say that it is the journey that counts; it is the path that is more important than the destination itself since the destination always leaves a lot to be desired and ends up being a sham anyhow. This may be why the happiness of people who suddenly become rich by winning the lottery or via an inheritance may not be as long-lasting as those who have worked hard to get there and who “make” it through their own efforts.

Whether it is money that you are chasing or love or a family or your retirement, when it comes down to it, you will never be fully satisfied with the results. Commonplace boredom will ensnare you sooner or later, and there seems to be no immunization against it. Or is there?

The driving power is indeed the journey itself but in the shape of our desire. Now desire is something that lasts. And desire is constantly moving us towards action; it is our constant craving. It is desire that makes the object worth pursuing in the first place.

If you are in love with somebody, and you desire them, you place a high value on them, and hence you double or triple your efforts to conquer this person. It is your desire that makes her beautiful. Without it, she would be just an ordinary girl, but your longing has made her into a shiny star, a regal beauty queen, a unique person in the world.

Although there is often a consensus of what constitutes beauty, namely what the majority of the “experts” of the time, such as media and peers, agree upon, I am more interested in the individual's perception of the object or the person in question. We can hide desire from other people's views, yet it burns inside us; it gives us energy during the day and robs our sleep at night. It is the stuff that furnishes us with poetry.

And strangely, paradoxically, it finds its most beautiful expression in its failure to achieve its fulfillment. It is the everlasting gaze, the arms outstretched in eternity, far away, yet so close to the desired goal.

It is the final step that was never taken, the desire that remained spiritual forever and never became flesh. It is Juliet who will never be with the beloved, but who finds him in the eternal embrace of death's shadow.

The desire that never materialized is the most beautiful. Why? Because it shines forth in all its splendor, in all its facets, in all its myriad possibilities, never actualized but always there and always full.

Say No to Cigarettes and the Differences between Illegal Drugs and Nicotine

There is a lot of propaganda against the use of drugs, but surprisingly comparatively little and less severe reactions against the use of cigarettes, especially despite the fact we are clearly aware of its dangers along with its high level of addictiveness. What might be the reason for such preference and biased and unequal treatment?

The argument is often brought up that tobacco is legal, while the other kinds of drugs are illegal. But legality can be akin to fashion: It changes according to the seasons. Once alcohol used to be illegal, and drugs were tolerated. Birth control pills and condoms used to be illegal until their use was finally admitted. Abortion is still a crucial and controversial issue where not only countries but both states and people are thoroughly divided. Not to mention gay marriage, of course, where legality often becomes mixed up with morality.

Another point concerning illegal drugs is its apparent lack of discrimination: All drugs are judged as equally evil and harmful, which would be the same as treating all alcoholic beverages as dangerous, without considering its potency, that a beer cannot be on par with vodka, for example. There is no doubt in my mind that certain drugs, such as cocaine, opium, heroin, crystal meth, are inherently harmful and have devastated many people's lives, yet others, more "natural" drugs, such as marijuana have proven beneficial for medicinal purposes.

But I am less interested in the discussion of drugs; I rather wonder how come cigarettes do not need to sustain the same vicious attacks. Why are people not demanding tobacco to be put into the same category and declared illegal as it is a clear and visible danger that is killing people all over the world and draining the health care system?

And why is this fight against tobacco halfhearted and -measured attempts instead of a full-out war? It seems that the strategy is to attack the consumers, the smokers, by containing them in and limiting them to certain restricted areas, but this obviously does not stop them from smoking; it makes their lives rather more inconvenient and by thankfully giving us nonsmokers a bit of protection from the dangerous effects of second-hand smoke.

Yet the problem lies in the continuous production and various business practices of the profit-wielding cigarette industry. This might be a reason why we tend to accept it and turn a blind eye towards it and accept it simply as legal. A lot of profit has been made from the cigarette industry for various decades now, and the good news for the industry is that unlike oil it is not running dry.

There is another reason why the industry is openly flirting with and attracting teenagers. Their unscrupulous fear and concern lies in the fact that older generations will die out soon, and they will lose out on their regular clientele, while youth may be life-long victims whose pockets can be drained for years to come.

But let us look at some of the harmful effects of nicotine, for example, keeping in mind, however, that cigarettes are a dangerous cocktail of several life-threatening chemicals. The word comes from the French diplomat Jean Nicot who introduced it to the Western world and thrilled the aristocracy of his times.

Nowadays, nicotine actually works as quite a useful pesticide. It is again only one element of various substances that destroys a person's body. For a much more substantial and comprehensive list of negative effects, please take a look at The Effects of Smoking on the Body published by Healthline and you may not want to touch another cigarette again! I think it is not enough to have a few ads here and there warning or intimidating people of its effects and dangers, nor is it a very useful strategy to ban smoking in public places.

I do applaud those measures as a nonsmoker and somebody who is concerned of the negative effects of secondhand smoke, yet it still remains only a halfhearted measure. The practice may decline slightly, but those who smoke will continue to poison their body and destroy their lives, while everyone else keeps up the war on drugs pretending that everything else is all right and under control.