The Art of Eroticism: Using your sexiness to your advantage

It was various years ago when watching the musical Chicago in the movie theater that I was stunned with how it was sizzling with eroticism. However, it was not a matter of arousal on my part, but an intellectual or analytic appreciation of the art of eroticism in general.

What impressed me was how sexually suggestive gestures and movements, clothing and make-up all combined to create a “body” or work of art. I am not necessarily saying that Chicago is a particularly good movie, nor do I have a particular affinity or crush on the actresses of the movie, but I realized how cunningly some people manage their body to exude sexiness.

At the same time, I realized that it was indeed another form of acting or pretending. It creates a certain kind of elusive image in the mind of the spectator. In other words, our reaction to such an erotic spectacle is a playing on and with our senses to augment and intensify sex-appeal.

Let me give an example. A woman we might see in the streets or at work may not have any special sex appeal, but when she decides to put on her belly dancing costume, balance a sword on her head and move herself gracefully and in sensuous ways, we would never believe it was indeed the same person.

In the first instance, we see her as an ordinary person. She might be attractive, but she is not fully eroticized. Yet when she becomes “exotic” and synchronizes her body movements to Middle Eastern music and drums, when she manipulates and creates emotions and arousal, she becomes a veritable erotic piece of art.

That is where movie and music stars know how to capitalize. They turn their bodies into that sculpture of sizzling eroticism that gives them an almost otherworldly sense and character. And often, they know of the value of their assets and “insure” them for insane amounts of money.

The pathetic fallacy however on the spectator's part is to confuse the work of art with real life. One falls prey to the belief that a type-cast actor, for example, is indeed that fictitious person in real life. (Though sometimes actors do end up being like their characters, perhaps because they consciously choose roles that suit their personality. I cannot help but to think of Jack Nicholson always being himself in all of his movies!)

In a similar vein, no matter how sexy J. Lo or Salma Hayek may appear on TV or on the movie screen, at the end of the day they are not all that different from everyday people and underneath the glamor, show biz, make-up and millions of dollars, they actually lead - or try to lead - normal lives. Even they are not immune to bad hair days, for example, or their moments of un-sexiness, something that the press likes to prey upon and that occasionally makes the tabloid papers.

To us normal folks and mere mortals it would seem odd or unimaginable why any person in their right mind would ditch any of these actresses and stars, but once people look past the stardom and glamor, the person may not, for whatever reasons, be that appealing after all.

There is nonetheless a positive lesson for us all. We can, in fact, capitalize on this knowledge and use this art to our own advantage. We can learn to surprise our mate or our would-be mate by putting on a show of exotic dance moves or sexy clothing and style to create, albeit for a fleeting moment, a moment of eroticism in our own life.