Over the past few years while I have been researching my
book on how to deal with anxiety and lead a happier and healthier life, I have
had the pleasure to read various insightful and informative books on this
topic. But up to now, none of them has resonated with me to such a degree as Carla Marie Manly’s Joy From Fear.
Her book immediately stood out for me as her approach is quite
similar to mine: She embraces and applies the psychodynamic view to uncover
previous as well as continuing moments of trauma. By dealing with one’s past,
the baggage and issues that we - to a large extent unconsciously and often chronically
- carry around, one eliminates many of the root causes of anxiety.
Moreover, her focus on destructive fear is helpful and constructive;
by pinpointing the negative thought processes and patterns that we often,
despite ourselves, hold onto, we can better identify doubts and hesitations and
halt them in their tracks.
That nagging self-critical voice, often a remnant
and introjection from parental sources, does not only feed our fears but it
makes them thrive. And yes, there are benefits and positive aspects to fear
since it can potentially lead the way to engaging more fully and more
joyfully with life itself.
After reading Dr. Carla’s book, I really wanted to reach out
and contact the author to feature her on my blog. Many writers are certified
psychologists and give relevant advice and good counselling, but in Dr. Carla’s
case, it felt not only personal but also genuine and heartfelt.
It comes as no
surprise that one of the words Dr. Carla uses to describe herself is integrous.
This denotes a person who acts and lives with integrity, and it was the exact
impression and feeling I got from reading her book filled with knowledge,
insight, and practical tips.
However, before you get to know her thoughts and ideas
firsthand, I would like to make a brief detour on my experience of the field of
psychology. Psychology has been a lifelong interest of mine, and I have now become
more invigorated with it ever since the personal acceptance and application of
psychoanalytic theories.
What used to be observations about human nature have
become useful digging tools to understand and discover myself and to ensure that I am more
in tune with who I really am deep inside, not who or how I or others think I ought
to be.
In the past, there were other fields that would help me, but
somehow or other, they would fall short. Music, literature, and movies have been
my constant companions, and that shall never change because art makes us explore
who and how we are in a beautiful and exemplary fashion.
Yet as a child - and
to anticipate and give a prelude to my answer to Dr. Carla’s question at the
end of this interview - I was fascinated with religion, particularly anything
related to the Gospels. Jesus was the perfect embodiment of how we should be, act
and live, and back then I had what many would call faith.
However, as a young adult, that faith gradually eroded and
gave rise to doubts. Those doubts were temporarily assuaged by the field of
philosophy. Where there was previously unwavering and blind acceptance, I began
to partake of my own share of the forbidden fruit by questioning everything and
attempting to reach logical answers to my doubts. That worked to a degree, but
it did not satisfy my soul either.
It is only in recent years and with the personal discovery
of depth psychology that I am fully embracing psychology as the definitive path
to take. Oddly enough, this also creates a curious cycle since my faith has
also increased. It is less a faith in a force outside of myself but
rather a light that is within and shines through me.
To put this in Dr. Carla’s wise words:
You will smile, knowing that
you have gained your integrity and that you stand in the truth as you know it
to be. You will shine with an inner light that comes from loving yourself, from
radiating the beauty that was once held in the dark cave of fear.
Put differently, the truth shall set you free. My interest
in Zen Buddhism has also revived while my fascination with Jesus has not abated;
yet my beliefs cannot be contained in nor be constrained by specific organized
religions. Admittedly, my outlook is mystical in nature, and I had certain glimpses
of it during childhood where and when the seeds must have been planted.
But enough about me: It is with honor and delight that I
present to you, clinical psychologist and compassionate writer Dr. Carla Marie
Manly:
Interview with Dr. Carla Marie
Manly
1. What do you do for
a living? Why?
I make my living as a clinical psychologist. Although
it’s not the most lucrative field, it is my passion to spread mental health
awareness and help others free themselves from the chains of mental health
issues such as anxiety, depression, and PTSD.
2. What three
adjectives would you use to describe yourself?
Soulful, strong, and integrous.
3. What’s something
that has always amazed you as a child? Does
it still amaze you?
As a child, I was amazed by the delights of
nature. To this day, I am captive by nature—from
flowers, trees, and fruit to the vastness of the ocean and thunderstorms. I sense that, even as a child, I knew that
nature offered a space for play, wonder, healing, and grounding.
4. How would you
personally define psychology?
To me, psychology is the ever-changing realm
of discovering and understanding the interplay of human thoughts, behaviors,
and emotions.
5. Why did you choose
psychology over say history, philosophy or political science, for instance?
The world of psychology is fascinating to
me—it is the foundation of who we are as human beings. Yes, we have our physical bodies, yet a
healthy physical body is nothing without a healthy mind and spirit.
6. What can psychology
do and not do for us?
I believe that psychology can do so much for
us if we realize that it is a science that must constantly adapt and morph (as
with all areas of life). As well, I believe that psychology must not allow
itself to get stuck in polarizing thought or assertions, for the realm of
psychology is as vast as the constellation of human experiences.
7. Why do you think
people are so suspicious of psychology?
So many people think that psychology is not a
“hard” science, and I laugh at this. In
every field—including the “hard” sciences—there is a sense of evolution and
growth. Whether we look at medicine or other
sciences, what was once thought to be “certain truth” continues to shift and
expand as our knowledge grows. It’s
unfortunate that some people chose to attempt to elevate their own beliefs or
professions at the expense of the vital realm of psychology.
8. Who is your
favorite psychologist, and why?
Carl Jung, a psychiatrist, contributed so much
to the world of psychology. From
bringing forth archetypes, mythology, and the power of nature to his wise,
soulful insights on many mental health issues, Carl Jung’s work is
incomparable.
9. In today’s world,
technology has become part of everyday life. Do you think that computers are
capable of thinking and / or feeling? Could they fall in love?
We certainly have taught computers to think
by programming them to mimic human behavior.
In the same way, computers are being taught to express feelings. Being taught how to express or mimic a
behavior, however, is far different from actually feeling or thinking of one’s
own accord. As such, I think a computer
could be taught to express “falling in love,” but it seems that even this would
be the result of having been programmed to love.
10. Do you have a
catchphrase? If not, what would it be?
My catchphrase: I measure my strength by my ability to
know--and remain true to--my goals and values.
11. Now it’s your
turn: What would you like to ask me?
Dr. Carla’s question
for me: What is your greatest dream or dreams in life? Was this a childhood dream? If not, what was your greatest dream or
dreams as a child?
What a great question! My greatest dream as a child was to
become a writer. I started writing my first story in Grade 2 in the German
language.
We had just arrived in Germany the year before and I went from not being
able to speak a word in the language and not being able to write in any
language to composing a story about a friendly ghost that haunted a family. I
had not been acquainted with Casper back then but had heard of the Canterville
Ghost, I think.
My main reason for writing back then was to achieve fame. I
wanted to be welcomed and well-received by everyone and had felt inferior
growing up as an asylum-seeker in a traditional German town.
Moreover, I wanted
to use my fame for good. I wanted my words and thoughts to have weight and
impact and be able to use my voice to help those in need. Although part of this dream was fueled by an inferiority
complex, the other part wanted to help others and make the world a better
place.
And I am still trying to do that. It is also probably the unconscious
reason why I decided to become a teacher, to get married to a nurse and to start
this blog ; )
If interested in Dr. Carla Marie Manly, you may find out more about her services,
work and practice as well as her published works and writings by visiting her
website at https://www.drcarlamanly.com/
4 comments:
Thank you for the lovely, heartfelt blog. Your journey is beautiful and inspiring. Your dream of being a writer continues to unfold...wondrous! Thank you for being YOU!
And thank YOU for all the beautiful and life-changing work you do by helping people tap into their true potential! It's very much appreciated!
A lovely candid piece from Arash & Dr Carla. Full of warmth & heartfelt truth.
A warm & heartfelt thank you from both of us!
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