Monday, October 10, 2022

With a Deep Sense of Gratitude and Appreciation: Giving Thanks on Thanksgiving

Sun Halo visible in the daytime sky
The past few months have been a rather busy time on my side of things where I moved from a single part-time position to four of them (and yet still merely getting by, thank you, inflation ;) while at the same time keeping up with my podcasting and talking to wonderful, awesome, and inspirational experts and leaders across the world!

Thank you to everyone who has actively participated in these projects and endeavors and everyone in the background who has worked hard to make them happen! All of this has put blogging on the back burner at least for the time being, but I shall make some sort of amends with this posted note on gratitude and forgiveness.

Essentially, I have embraced and, in many ways, re-ignited and invigorated my passion for both in-person and remote teaching. Interestingly, I recently started teaching at the same college that I used to attend a quarter-century ago as a young promising student hence marking a full cycle and reaching the other side of the aisle; my previous student number is now my current employee ID. It is fascinating how seemingly separate dots end up connecting with each other in an arc and lead us to familiar yet new shores within the context of the always evolving and expanding yin and yang of teaching and learning with this eternal student teacher.

Moreover, regardless of whether we want this or not, growth is often associated with if not based upon previous adversity. Most of the time, when the living gets easy, we can get complacent, at times lazy, and nestle, accommodate ourselves, and grow accustomed to the delusive hammock of our respective comfort zone.

And yet, life has its ways of pulling the rug under our feet and ripping the blinds off our eyes and thus getting our attention, whether we want and seek it or not, and it wakes and shakes us up. Part of this universal experience was the pandemic that has affected literally everyone on the planet at least one way or another, while another part tends to be family, relationship, or work situations and tensions that spiral out of bounds and control and lead to necessary and mandatory stretches of strife and suffering.

But all these experiences that we often prematurely and unfairly label as negative and bad if approached and harnessed appropriately, can indeed become and be converted into glorious chances and opportunities. Most outcomes, if given enough and ample time and seen through a positive lens or prism can bring many unexpected benefits and pay dividends. Whether it is a premature and abrupt end to a relationship, connection, or association, it can potentially and realistically be converted to not only stability and productivity but much better and more rewarding prospects and vistas across the bright horizon.

I think in a sense this is what Jesus was referring to when he said to love our enemies or to turn the other cheek. It is neither an act of cowardice nor masochism but rather a wider perspective on our humanity and our lives. Events that trigger us and that we jump to see as negative can be turned into gold, and oddly enough, those who do us harm may unwillingly and unwittingly do us immense good. My best lessons came from suffering, and in a sense, my so-called enemies have been my best teachers in life.

Turning the other cheek does not mean passively accepting injustice or harm nor does it imply being senselessly beaten or abused by others without speaking up or standing up for one’s and other people’s rights. It is more a willingness to accept the circumstances no matter how dire and to not offer resistance to that we cannot change or influence; rather it is important to gather up and muster courage and build, rebuild, and channel our forces toward those situations and outcomes that we can effectively and realistically influence and change. This is the core heart and main lesson of the Serenity Prayer.

Throughout, it is best not to harbor grudges, ill will, or negative feelings toward those who have wronged us. They, in the words of Jesus again, do not know what they are doing and will find out to their cost, sooner or later. At some point or other, they would have to deal with the persistent nagging voice of conscience and bubbling feelings of guilt and will end up looking for forgiveness from those they have trespassed.

This may not always be apparent to the eye, and some may be able to fight that voice of the conscience for longer periods while others may drown themselves in their guilt or wallow in pity. But all this time, whether we see or acknowledge it or not, the karmic wheels will be constantly turning and even the mightiest will fall from their thrones.

One thing I have learned is to make forgiveness a priority in my life and to offer gratitude whenever I can as it is not something that can be misplaced or wasted. We should always be more grateful than we are as we are more fortunate than others no matter what the circumstances may be or seem to be in our life.

In the cycle of life, friends can disappoint, let us down, and betray us while our enemies may become our best friends. It comes down to a matter of perspective. It is easy to love those that love us, but the challenge and effort lie in loving those who do not love us and do not wish us well. In many cases, they are filled with negativity, pain, and suffering, and they may express this in the form of envy or anger toward others. And it is usually good people who do seem to take the brunt.

It is interesting that Freud himself had an issue with “loving our enemies” but I believe he might have misunderstood and misinterpreted the adage. It is not a quantitative but rather a qualitative statement. I do not think that we should love our loved ones less or the same as those who are our purported enemies, acquaintances, or neighbors.

But it is the fact that not loving them at all will be a lack and demerit not only towards them but for us as well. In other words, if you love life, willy-nilly, you have to accept the whole package that comes with it, the good and the bad ranging from the first breath and morning of birth to the last breath and mourning of death. It is not a menu we can pick and choose from and the moment you make a choice and take a path, you have opted out of other potential choices and paths.

But since we cannot and should not sit on the fence (at least not for long periods of time), we need to choose a path but also be ready to make changes, and amendments if not complete detours with new destinations. And during this journey, we will make friends and out of necessity enemies and both need our love to different degrees.

Once we send our enemies some love and clear the toxic and poisoned atmosphere around us and fill it instead with gratitude and optimism, not only have we done good, but we have made the world a better place. That is what it is all about, seeing adversity as opportunities and challenges that can help us grow and become more ourselves. To those who oppose or have opposed us along our path, we shall wish them a clear mind and a heart of feeling and empathy.

And yet, my focus here shall not be merely on the lost sheep but also give a deep sense of gratitude to those who have stood by our side. Although there are some who have disappointed and who let us down especially when you needed them most, there are many others who not only help but do it to an unexpected and outstanding degree going the extra mile so-to-speak and that should be always acknowledged, and I shall do so here as well.

Providing a hand to someone who needs help is an act of altruism, and I want to express my heartfelt thanks to all those who have made and continue to make a difference not only in my life but also in other people’s lives. I am in your karmic debt and hope to have been able to show it in this post but also promise to do more so in my personal interactions with you so that fortunately we all continue to pay it forward on this Thanksgiving and beyond!

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