Jung’s Different Stages of Life Plus Midlife Crisis as a Wake-up Call

So I recently stumbled (and that occurred via various detours, signposts, and coincidences) upon Jung’s essay on the different phases of life. Let me state though that neither Jung nor myself actually believe in coincidences, so this essay found its way to me at the right moment or rather at the right stage of my life.

More on this later but suffice to say that the essay is a more condensed and somewhat rudimentary version of psychodynamic development as it is lacking the fullness and detail of Erik Erikson’s explicit stages. Nonetheless, Jung’s approach has its own rather interesting flair with the focus being more on main themes of life as opposed to outlining specific conflicts and struggles within certain life periods.

From the get-go, Jung states his views on the differences, distinctions, and dynamic interplay between instinct and consciousness. Instinct is how we respond to events and our surroundings and it is set by nature. Yet it is consciousness that represents a different and perhaps more unique and individualized way of doing things. Jung contrasts consciousness from instinct and nature and equates it with culture, which represents moving away from both instinct and nature.

In that sense, culture as a form of growing consciousness is something that has refined itself over the many centuries and may even challenge natural processes or ways of doing things as it continues to evolve. Culture is richer and more sophisticated in thought, reflection, and action whereas nature is more passive, counts on reflexes, prefers routines and rituals and tends to be less progressive in outlook and philosophy.

None of this should be confused with society, which may confuse itself and others throughout the process. Society may aid but often tends to block and hinder consciousness. For instance, society prizes achievement as opposed to personality. Achievements tend to be things you do but does not really take into account who you are.

The latter occurs posthumously where personality would be acknowledged and recognized since achievements have now run their course. Such and such was a kind and wonderful person is heard more on funerals than in real-life situations. Hence, we can see that money, status, social standing and even family are not elements of culture but rather of instinct. They are driving us toward survival but less so towards growth and thriving.

Interestingly, Jung is not particularly interested in the first phase, namely that of childhood; no wonder because it is such a vital complex stage upon which there is already tons of excellent psychanalytic literature in existence. He also adds old age as a coda that he barely fleshes out except to say that it functions in the same vein as childhood. Both stages make us dependent upon others; in the case of children for bare survival and that can also be reflected in older age especially if there are deteriorating health conditions involved. Those phases tend to be more instinctual in outlook and lifestyle and more often than not mandated by necessity or biological parameters and determinants.

Hence, Jung’s principal focus is on the adjacent stages of young adulthood as well as midlife. This is mainly because of the previously mentioned distinguishing characteristics between instinct and consciousness. As instinct is our natural operating process, we do not need reflection or evaluation but act like reflexes according to our physical and mental needs.

We sleep when we are tired and eat when we are hungry. Generally speaking, this automatic status does not involve much thought or struggle; the child depends upon others to feed them and is dimly aware of any potential dangers and difficulties and does not have to make specific choices. In fact, they may not be aware of any other choices or alternatives.

In contrast, the youth becomes more aware of their surroundings and must begin to not only make decisions but also distinguish themselves from other beings; hence, the seed of individuation is planted within the individual’s psyche. It is this consciousness, which leads that person to reach their zenith; young adulthood may propel us on making it in the world, i.e. attaining success and social standing and of potentially taking care of a family.

As we can see the focus is on the outer world and material aspects are brought into the foreground. Money not personality is the factor that is highly correlated with success and distinguishes one person in society from another. This is part of the drive of the instinct and survival, which includes everything from money to social standing and even starting a family.

To reiterate, instinct is linked to nature, while consciousness is the stepping away from both instinct and nature and is more closely tied to culture. It becomes interesting that social values are often aligned with instinct and nature and not so much with consciousness at least not in their individual form and format.

Sadly, as Jung notes in his essay, personality is not encouraged nor celebrated enough during a lifetime; in fact, it is often underlined posthumously when people claim how such and such person was very good, responsible, or caring. During their lifetimes, we are a work of progress, and our personality plays second fiddle, and especially in our current climate a simple faux pas or a few misspoken words may quickly unravel a whole of life of dedication and moral fortitude like a house of cards.

With this in mind, we can now enter the meats and bones of Jung’s argument. Barring the first and the fourth and final phase, where we tend to be more limited and restrained in capacity and capability, young and middle adulthood are the most fruitful and productive stages of our lives.

In the former, we are making a name for ourselves, but we are also prioritizing certain aspects over others. The values of success gain dominance over those of personality. Certain wishes and desires are driven into the unconscious. For instance, childhood dreams may be ignored, and more importance is given to more practical solutions and outcomes. Becoming an artist, writer or filmmaker does not cut it and instead we look for more stable professions that guarantee a certain amount of income.

At the same time, we may make romantic choices more upon feasibility and suitability and less on love and passion. Any time we make a decision, it comes at the expense of something else, so it involves a certain kind of compromise or rupture, whether this is done consciously or unconsciously is up for debate. Incidentally, with decisions, we engage in a type of cision as we cut away all the surrounding potentials and end up with a certain piece that is concrete and rather limited in its form and scope.

Yet all the decisions we do not make, all the dreams we do not pursue continue to be lodged in our unconscious. This may be when we have everything we wished for, a family, a house, a car, a job with a stable income but something is definitely missing. And yet, we cannot put a finger upon our malaise except that something is off.

Most of the things we were striving for do not cut it for us. We still see value in them and appreciate them, but we also realize that it came at a cost. There are two options from here on. Middle age can be the time where we continue to ignore those nagging desires and continue and march on. This can then carry over into old age that is filled with regrets, resentment and a feeling or sense of missed opportunities.

Unfortunately, at that point, it may be too late to do anything. Jung even provides a French quote here: “Si jeunesse savait, si vieillesse pouvait” to demonstrate the dilemma, if youth only knew and had the answers of our mature state and if only old age had the power and prowess to make it happen. And at that point, especially if you do not believe in an afterlife, you may come to believe that your life had little to no meaning and did not serve a purpose, and you might get the impression that your life has been wasted.

The other choice is to take action. In that case, what is known and referred as “midlife crisis” can propel us to initiate and even create some kind of transformation. It could be minor or major in its scope and outlook. This is when people drastically change their status quo for something entirely different and something that resonates more with their heart’s desire. It can be actively crossing off our bucket list or a reset to our lives, a new beginning, a new start and lease on life.

At that point, we may also care less about what others think, what society thinks of us or how a life should be lived, a time where we reject to a certain extent the plausible and real for a world that is filled with magic and dreams. Please note that this last part is more about me than Jung, but it is what his essay provokes and ignites in me.

Midlife crisis does not have to be a crisis but rather a message to our psyche that life is too precious to undergo and limit oneself to compromises and sacrifices. It is most important to ground and find oneself not by looking for outward recognition but by looking within and then to live not by the dictates of others, be it parents, loved ones, friends, society or even one’s community but living and thriving according to who you truly are, your very own core sense of being.