Here, Now and Later: Different Views and Perspectives on Experiencing and Living Time

It’s that time of the year again and what better time to talk about time than right around this time. In fact, time is our greatest commodity and no matter how much and how hard we try and how strongly we try to deny or accept it, it is indeed a limited and non-renewable resource. We can extend it by taking good care of ourselves, physically, mentally, emotionally, etc. but with all our collective science, wisdom, and knowledge, we cannot escape death – at least not yet.

And yet, we often pretend that time does not matter, shrug it off or procrastinate when it comes to our own relationship with it. We assume that time is money (which it is not), whereas, like money, we often squander it on things that don’t really matter when we ought to seize and squeeze each day and see and deem it as a precious gift.

What would be our best approach to time? Is it useful and beneficial to see it as a finite resource and try to do and cram as much as we can within the limited time span that we are given, i.e., living each day as if it were our last, or should we just relax and take it in stride and not worry too much about it?

Interestingly, I was planning to have two separate podcast interviews on each of those views and wished to probe and explore them further. I was scheduled to speak with Oliver Burkeman, author of Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals and to follow it up with Lisa Broderick and her book All the Time in the World: Learn to Control your Experience of Time to Live a Life without Limitations.

As it may become apparent from the book titles, the first one is rather reductionist and focuses on the limits and constraints of time and pushes us to make the best out of the approximate 4000 weeks that an average life span affords us, whereas the latter has a more expansive view of time viewing it as a string of eternal moments and glimpses of infinity that we can learn to control and play with.

Although we had scheduled interviews, neither of them showed up for reasons unknown. As they did not take the opportunity to explain their own views - either because they had too little or too much time on their hands - I will present my own thoughts to you to the best of my knowledge and understanding; that said, I will encourage both authors to schedule a meeting with me to set things and matters straight, if need be, or just to confirm and reaffirm my theories.

The reason I wanted to have them back-to-back was that we could all see and evaluate the benefits and potential limitations of each view when considered and viewed side by side. In fact, and grosso modo, Oliver’s view of time can be deemed materialistic; we have one lifetime that we need to make the most of and that is pretty much that. I would have liked to probe deeper into his philosophical outlook and views, but I would not be too surprised if it had an atheistic bent to it.

As time is deemed limited and non-renewable, this can fill one with anxiety, existentialist despair, and potential dread. Every choice in daily life would be undertaken under a microscope to ensure that it is not wasteful and that it is indeed providing the maximum amount of benefit and/or happiness to the given individual.

And yet, there will also be the nagging doubt, the voice of unreason, questioning, consciously or subconsciously, each choice of ours and putting it under a magnifying glass. In fact, there may always be another better choice out there than the one we have made, and this is the proverbial FOMO (fear of missing out) that drives us toward not enjoying the present moment as we are constantly aware of our mortality alongside a certain perceived but unspoken futility and aimlessness to our time-constrained existence.

Incidentally, Oliver may have canceled our speaking engagement because he had another and, in his view, more productive and more promising event on his agenda, or it may have been due to his underlying fear that I may probe him further in his views and beyond his comfort zone, and hence exposing and bringing into the open what he would rather have concealed and kept unaware of his own consciousness; of course, there may also be a completely unrelated and different reason whatsoever at play.

On the other hand, the second one, Lisa’s view is quite spiritual in nature. Time is not fixed; it is flexible and can be moved and shaped through and according to our experiences and outlook. We are not just talking Einstein’s relativity here; the book also freely quotes and references results and findings in quantum theory to show how time is not merely linear ticking away in seconds and minutes. This outlook has a spiritual base and does not see our life as limited in space and time but rather as an expression, if not manifestation, of another (or other) dimension.

I myself am leaning toward seeing time not as fixed and limited. That does not mean nor imply that we should not seize each and every moment, but the way and manner Oliver is presenting our relationship with time, it looks and feels like it is mostly driven by fear, anxiety, panic, and despair. It is like a death sentence that is looming in the far away or close distance and it hangs above our heads and all our decisions like the imaginary sword of Damocles.

Furthermore, it is treating time as an accessory one has, and it is not unlike running a business, or at the very least, it has a business-tinged outlook. Whereas the CEO fills up his or her schedule with supposedly relevant and worthwhile meetings and trips, we would take that approach and try to fill as many gaps as possible and try so hard to avoid boredom and wasting time that we might just end up losing our grip on the little time that we have and end up running around when we should be relaxing and taking it all in and in a stride.

In Lisa’s perspective what we get is a combination of metaphysics and quantum physics, including quantum uncertainty and entanglement and a particular perception, distortion, and manifestation of time with a spiritual nod, understanding, and acknowledgment of our existence in spacetime. In the same way, time is relative, our frame of mind and perspective decide and determine if an event is long or short, fun, or boring, and this can be adjusted and changed if we become aware of the process, an observer effect of sorts. Instead of seeing a task as dreaded or dreadful, a shift in mindset and perspective could make the same task interesting or challenging in its rather positive and curious sense of the word.

But if like most of us, you always feel that you are rushed and busy and that time is always lacking, this becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. You would always be on the run and on the go and would rarely find or have the time to do what is truly best and beneficial for your body, mind, and spirit.

It often comes down to how our brain processes information and the current state and frame of mind. We spend most of our waking time in the beta brainwave mode where we are constantly on alert and ready to deal with stress and challenges, and only once in a while, do we give ourselves the time (!) and luxury to delve into, dwell and settle in the more relaxed alpha brainwave.

Yet the ideal state, according to Lisa, is focused perception, a trance-like quasi-mystical state of mind with gamma brainwaves, which is a combination of various brainwaves in which your mind is alert, but your body is relaxed. We often designate the words and expressions “in the zone” and “flow” to this state that is razor-sharp and free from worry or panic. Athletes are familiar with this, but we also experience it when we are deeply focused on a task that fully absorbs and engages us. Often this turns out to be what we love to do in the first place; however, we are not just purely taking time off, daydreaming, and relaxing but are fully grounded in and aware of the present here and now.

In fact, Lisa provides different exercises and practices to increase our awareness of time and augment our mindful engagement with and within the present. Any moment considered under the lens of mindfulness can last a very long time, and it does then seem that time lasts longer and flows more slowly; if it passes more quickly, it did so because we enjoyed our time.

Although we have all the time in the world to enjoy the present moment, it is important to note that our time is limited at the same time. It is however true that time is not linear (although we may perceive it as such) but that it can be stretched, manipulated, and yes, for a lack of a better word, transcended.

At the same time, it is not unlimited within our given lifetime, so both perspectives (and either perspective on its own) are equally right and wrong; the main thing is to enjoy life and seize the moment and not just let it pass by, while also not fretting or worrying too much about losing out or failing to fill every minute of the approximate four thousand weeks allotted to us. If you find ways of living in the zone or add bouts of mindfulness and higher awareness to your daily existence, you must be on the right path.

The Intricate Differences and Ramifications between Indebtedness and Gratitude

We often feel indebted to others, be it our parents, teachers, and mentors, in addition to all those who help and support us by going out of their way and walking the extra mile for us. At the same time, we express our gratitude for them, their counsel, guidance, and actions, and often feel grateful for them not only for being there for us but for simply being here in this world.

I used to think of the two terms indebtedness and gratitude as interchangeable. I would feel indebted to those who would help me and at the same time feel grateful for them. But only rather recently have I noted and noticed subtle but vital differences not only between the two terms and definitions but more importantly concerning the feeling and the psychological dimensions associated with and connected to each of them.

This new awareness was brought about after the wonderful opportunity to speak with Kristen Ragusin about her revolutionary concept and conception of money and the importance (and various benefits) of moving and shifting from a scarcity mindset to one of abundance. As a result, I came to reevaluate not only how money is used and portrayed in our world but also how we use it figurately in our way of thinking, interpreting, and understanding the world.

As Kristen points out on my podcast, we need to change how we see and define money and if we are stuck in a mindset that accentuates scarcity, meaning we never have enough money for our needs and desires, then we are trapped in an endless loop. This would create a scarce and pessimistic outlook regardless of how much money we end up having or making. This is also demonstrated by the usual restlessness that accompanies many ultrarich people who are so set on making and amassing money that life passes them by unnoticed and unused.

They may be financially rich, but they would often lack in wealth; the former representing how much money they have in their respective bank accounts while the second underlining how much overall wealth they have accumulated, which would include various other qualities and characteristics that are closely tied with happiness, fulfillment, and life satisfaction.

The spotlight is now on the first term, that of being in debt with someone or something. When it comes to our educational background, we would often literally be in debt due to student loans (I have had my fair share and managed to pay them off after various years). As to my graduation, I am certainly grateful for my professors, some of whom were excellent and some of whom were not, but essentially, it was my own hard work and discipline that led to my degree. In other words, I am certainly grateful and feel privileged to have had the opportunity and at such a wonderful university to boot but I do not and ought not to feel indebted to them.

But what about the accumulated debt that we tend to have towards our family, in particular, our parents who brought us into the world and (hopefully) supported us along the path of life? In certain terms and manners, they may have ended up paving the way for us to get where we are now. What and how much do we owe them for all of this?

It often depends on who you end up asking, and there is a definite cultural component, relation, and variable there. For instance, my home culture very much values the contribution of parents, and they are put on a pedestal much more so than simply honoring them as is said or rather commanded in the Bible. Various Asian cultures follow suit in which sons and daughters are expected to subjugate their own wills (and often dreams and aspirations) to those of the family; this is often referred to and acknowledged as a collective society or mindset. It is also prevalent in many Latin cultures often driven by Catholic beliefs but it is not as pronounced in places that have predominantly Protestant roots, which typically tend to value work and material wealth over everything else.

This often unconscious mindset has significant repercussions on decision-making, lifestyle, and control. The will of the self or ego often needs to yield and give way to those of one’s environment or family. At its best, it ensures harmony and balance; at its worst, it can squash or severely limit and hinder personal freedom and liberties. And it is so effective not merely because we feel gratitude towards our parents and by extension our country and nation but rather that we feel in debt and lacking. And debts need to be repaid one way or another, with money or actions.

It becomes a moral issue as we assume that, like loans, we need to pay them back the material and emotional tolls and costs that our parents have endured for simply having us alongside everything else that they may have endured because of us. But in this case, we get it wrong and the wrong way around: the moral responsibility does not lie with the children but with the parents who decided to have the child in the first place.

By accepting this and making this decision, parents and caregivers are personally responsible for the maintenance, upbringing, and well-being of the child at least until the age of maturity. We tend to understand this concept much better when it comes to our pets than our children and willingly and gladly take care of animals for the duration of their life span. Yet somehow, parents come to believe or assume that the children are indeed theirs, if not their property, that they belong to them, and that the children need or ought to pay off their dues one way or another.

But in fact, parents are fulfilling their necessary obligations, some indeed do more and better than others. Some do go the extra mile and help and encourage the child on his or her chosen path in life while others do not and may even limit them when it comes to their dreams and endeavors. Still, other parents continue treating the adult person as children wanting them to obey and wishing to discipline them when they are not acting in accordance with parental wishes and desires.

And yet, here is where gratitude comes into play. We can be grateful for our parents, family, and teachers as well as our nation, government, culture, and compatriots without having to feel the urge to be indebted to them. This is where the independent spirit plays an important role in which we choose what we deem best for us instead of blindly obeying others or following rules, impositions, or cultural and religious traditions.

Yet it is equally important to underscore that, like anything in life, it is not a matter of either/or but a combination of various factors that is ideally in harmony as perfectly symbolized by the equal and calibrated forces of the yin and the yang. An extreme assertion of independence will do more harm than good, and neither is a complete abandonment and annulation of one’s own wishes and desires desirable.

Along the same terms, even individualistic cultures are certainly not immune to the feeling of feeling indebted. Our whole conception of work is based on the idea that employees need to respect and obey their employers simply for the act of being hired in a world where jobs seem - and often are - rather scarce and hard to come by. It is not merely a matter of gratitude but one of deeply ingrained debt. The “reward” for one’s hard work would be dished out in terms of salary.

But what if we see the workplace as a more balanced interaction. The employee provides a service or manufactures products that lead to overall gains and wealth for the company and organization, while in exchange, elements of gratitude and appreciation are often - but not solely – expressed and demonstrated in terms of monetary compensation by the employer. This is where many employers often fall short; they do not give enough thanks and should not ignore, neglect, or undervalue the emotional aspects of this professional interaction between the two parties.

Once we see that we are not in debt nor need or ought to feel shame or guilt, then we feel free to live a freer and happier life that is more in tune with who we really are deep inside. And that is a path worth taking and would lead to abundance, not only in fiscal but more importantly in emotional and even spiritual terms. And this is certainly something to cherish and to be extremely grateful for.

New Order: Love Will Unite and Bind Us Together

I want to start off with a personal disclaimer: I am quite new to this and it’s only recently that I have joined the New Order bandwagon. I am not claiming to be a lifelong fan nor am I too familiar with their music, moves, and their impressive body of work. I should have been a fan of them during adolescence but alas back then I was youthfully arrogant and too focused on Classical Music to accept or acknowledge - let alone listen to - other genres and types of music.

When I was a teen, New Order was at the top of their game, but I had barely heard of them and had rarely heard their music. This is certainly to my detriment because seen retrospectively and in perfect hindsight, they were one of the best bands of their times, and I should have embraced them at the time. It was the pandemic that brought them under my radar and purview, which brought to light and showcased to me how good they indeed are.

As a matter of fact, I am not too sure they themselves are fully aware of how good they are, and this seeming inferiority complex might have come about mostly because of how they came about in the first place. Like phoenix, they rose out of the ashes of the once promising and thriving Joy Division, which was cut short by the untimely and unfortunate death of its front singer.

Yet the decision to reimagine and reinvent their music and to combine rock with electronic music and dance produced exhilarating and fascinating songs that make you feel good deep inside while also making you sway and move to their notes. In my view, both Power, Corruption & Lies, and their best album compilation Substance may just well be among two of the best albums of all time.

New Order’s music, particularly the utterly wonderful triple combo of “Blue Monday,” “Temptation,” and “Run” alternatively filled most of my rainy days during this lonely and often difficult and challenging pandemic. The first one is a classic and to me a perfect example of how electronic music could and should be. The official 7+ min video is minimalist, hypnotic, and mesmerizing but equally brilliant in bringing back forgotten trace memories of floppy disks and slow computers.

The second music video - the song “Temptation” - feels like taken straight out of a nouvelle vague film, and it bridges and segues into the third video, my most recent discovery, which erupts in joyful and energetic dancing at the end. Life is a joyful dance despite blue days, various temptations, and our constant run-of-the-mill running around to survive and get by.

When after months of being on the run in my quest for a job and looking for some much-needed income and finally ended up landing the job I had aimed and wished for, I followed up on the promise I had made myself: I had told myself right after the interview that if I indeed got the job, I would treat and reward myself by buying a ticket to see New Order live and in-person on their Unity tour with their legendary counterparts, the Pet Shop Boys.

It was the tail end of their concert tour, which had been postponed and rescheduled due to – you guessed it - the pandemic. It was sad, wonderful, and fitting for them to wrap up their Unity tour in our hometown.

My wife had shown some interest in the concert, mostly because of the headlining act of the Pet Shop Boys (interestingly due to their almost equal stature, the two bands would switch and flip headlining throughout the tour), and we both ended up attending and being utterly impressed with this concert. And it was easily one of the best concerts I have ever seen!

The “opening band” New Order used impressive visuals and fascinating bits of film throughout and although there were a few issues with voice and sound, their music was exceptional and outstanding, and they played everyone’s favorite tunes alongside all their classic hits.

But I remarked on two things that really touched me deep inside and shook me to the core. Previously, when listening to their wonderful music and watching some of their music videos, I noted how much love they managed to express and exude. It was deeply embedded and enmeshed with the music: it was certainly palpable in their choice and selection of sounds, and this also came through occasionally through their lyrics though not as predominantly.

Not only did one feel their love but their love for their art and craft was equally noticeable. We can often sense it when artists use their form of the medium not only to communicate messages but also to demonstrate and showcase their genuine love for and commitment to their chosen art form.

There are a handful of musicians I get that sense and feeling with, and the closest I would come would be the magnificent Beethoven whose chords are filled with love and appreciation. Although not on the same level, I must say New Order does come close, and at that concert, I had a few glimpses of God or a brief mystical union with the powers that be.

This may be an odd statement - and the last time I felt something similar at a concert was experiencing the Resurrection Symphony by Gustav Mahler - but there was no doubt that I felt this also during the performance of New Order. I had previously heard people say something of that ilk about witnessing a Pink Floyd concert while probably being under the influence of certain substances, but I felt it that night too, completely sober and with New Order.

This filled me with renewed hope not just for that moment but for many next moments to come. If there are enough people who can express their pure love in such an authentic way and passionate manner, the world will be a much better, brighter, and more inspiring place! I felt the warmth within my chest and wished the entire band the very best from the bottom of my heart for eliciting and awakening such feelings in the first place.

Interestingly, I doubt I was the only one that had felt this way about New Order. While my wife did not have that quasi-spiritual personal connection that I had (she did very much enjoy the ensuing act and music put on by the splendent, playful, colorful, engaging, and always youthful Pet Shop Boys – the Prokofievs of the music industry), right after the New Order set, I heard someone in the men’s washroom (of all places) exclaim to his friend “Amazing God bless!”

I could not have said it any better and concur and conclude with that statement because somehow or other this magical music band had the glue, substance, or secret ingredient that connects, and binds notes and sounds with the innermost recesses of our heart and our spiritual core.