Reflections on Luck: David Milch’s Series on Horse Racing and My Own Life Karma

I’m fascinated and maybe slightly obsessed with horses now. This is news and unexpected to me because equines had never stood out for me, with the brief exception of Mister Ed, a show that I had sporadically watched in my younger years. Two things did not strike me as odd back then since I took them for granted and as a given: one, that a horse could talk - why, of course, they can! - and two, that I should be actually watching a show in which a horse would talk.

After that, horses completely disappeared out my life - except one scary pony ride but we shan’t talk about that - until my recent decision to watch David Milch’s series called Luck. This show deals with the world of horse racing and everything else that’s even remotely related and connected to it. Although luck, coincidences, synchronicity and serendipity are all themes that have always been of interest to me and that I have previously written, thought, blogged about in one way or another, I got into this series for quite a different reason.

As luck would have it, I happened to ask myself one day, what were some of my all-time favorite series, and David Milch’s Deadwood sprang to mind. The series stood out for me because of its colorful language and its well-rounded characters. By colorful, I don’t necessarily mean the swearing and cussing – though there are exorbitant amounts of that and at times a bit too much for my innocent prudish ears – but rather the poetry behind them. It felt like profanity-ridden Shakespeare on steroids.

But entering Luck was a different ballgame altogether. This was another series that came to a sudden halt but at least it was not as screeching as Deadwood, which ended on a climax and left us not only hanging for more but literally hanging. The addition of the TV movie many moons later was welcome news, but it was too little too late for me.

My initial hesitation to enter the world of Luck was that there was little appeal for me to begin with. I was not a fan of horse racing nor gambling. The fact that it got cancelled due to accidents surrounding a few of its horses, which had to be euthanized, only underscored the irony of the situation. In a series that purported to analyze luck while also imbuing all episodes with a palpable love and concern for horses and their wellbeing, it was highly unlucky that it ended up being eventually cancelled at the behest of PETA.

Yet, apart from learning some of the ins and outs of the world of horse racing, what trainers and owners go through, how agents recruit jockeys and how jockeys train and how - not unlike supermodels - they have to watch their weight to be able to ride and participate, and let alone all the folks betting money on potential outcomes, there was a lot to digest in this series.

To be honest, I needed at least three episodes to get used to the jargon and understand some of the motivations behind the characters but albeit confusing, it was never boring to me nor was it ever too much to handle. Incidentally, I was happy and content to find out that seasoned critics had been struggling with the same issues, so it was not just me nor my lack of knowledge and understanding at play here.

The most fascinating thing, without giving much away here, is that Milch looks at luck from an objective almost clinical perspective. In a way, he shuns our traditional and admittedly moral view of good versus bad luck. Bad things happen but then they may lead to good outcomes, while good outcomes can have negative consequences while at the same time, there are good intentions that lead to tragic and disastrous results. At other times, luck has no repercussion or value whatsoever on some of its protagonists. They either don’t see it or just don’t care.

Early on in the series, a group of friends make a bet, and they win big time. Now we would say that they are lucky. But for starters, this was due to a meticulous and hard-earned winning strategy by one of the group’s masterminds – let’s call him Jerry because that was his name - who made very precise and calculated bets that luckily enough paid off.

Yet, we soon find out that this genius on the horse racetrack has been struggling with his own set of demons. He has a gambling addiction and loses most of his share in playing poker against a Chinese shark; they mock and spar with each other and egg the other one on to continue playing with racist jeers from either side. The previous gain from the bet is making Jerry play and play on and lose more money hence turning what ought to be beneficial into something detrimental.

All the while, the group is hesitant to declare their winnings at first. This is because they are paranoid that somebody could try to steal the money from them, to rob them. As a result, they are trying to keep a low profile. And just like the gambling addiction, they do not call it quits, taking their winnings and starting their new happy life; no, they keep on betting because they want to win even more money, and thus the vicious cycle continues. To increase their winnings, they even buy their own horse to run and bet on, and they take on added responsibilities of paying a trainer all the time worrying about their horse’s health, a common preoccupation among this type of ownership.

Now what has all or any of that to do with my own life? Apart from me wanting to go to my very first horse race soon – I will keep you posted with a post on that! - and being drawn to anything horse-related - there was a weekend I attended an awesome show entitled Blue Horse Opera (by the way horse opera was a term used for westerns and it was not an opera) and later attending a wine tasting of a local vineyard run by a French-speaking philosopher-friend entitled Whispering Horse, which I am going to drink around Thanksgiving - there are certain aspects that have been shaping my own perspective on luck and karma.

I have noted and it is something I repeatedly mention on my podcast that it is the suffering or admittedly bad luck that helps us advance more in our quest for spiritual growth and healing as opposed to when things are just fine or going well for us. This is because when things are going good, there is little incentive or motivation to do things differently: if it ain’t exactly broke, why the hell would you want to fix it in the first place?

It’s when things go sour, and worse, when you are about to hit rock bottom that you are forced to do things differently or change your view and outlook on certain things. This is also directly related to my view of luck. I would consider myself lucky overall but have had ratches of not-so-good luck even though I have been working and trying very hard.

This has been felt and observed in my personal and professional life. I just could not help feeling that the cards seem to be stacked against me. Yes, I am blessed in many ways and very grateful for many good things that I have in my life but there has always been a cap, which I have found rather unreasonable and not proportional to the amount of work, effort, energy, and good will that I bring to the table. To put it more bluntly, I feel that I am not getting what I’m due and that I’m being short-changed in the process.

In other words, I’m still waiting for a lucky break, and karma just does not seem to be on my side. I do understand that this is a rather simplistic view of things, and it has a why me or oh-woe-me flavor to it. It reached its apex around two years ago when I was crossing the Burrard bridge after a Cosmic Night event at the Space Centre. I had just missed the bus and was stuck in the cold with both my professional and personal life in shambles at the time.

They still are by the way but I have come to accept that things do take their time, that even though I experience headwinds they do not last forever – albeit a really long time – and yet, I have to keep trying and preserve my vision and pursue my dreams despite the odds. This is often difficult and very frustrating when things do not work out for no apparent reason. It is like studying very hard for an exam and still failing it over and over again.

It feels not fair, and one may even feel entitled to get angry and lash out, but this is not how I want to react from now on. I want to continue working and trying hard for its own sake by not expecting (immediate) results. And in fact, ever since I am focusing only on the path and the journey by lessening my own wishes and expectations, I find myself in a much happier state. All I can do is to be true to myself and try as hard as I can.

Certainly, the desire to have tangible outcomes is important, and without it, I would be deluding myself but at the same time, expecting things to work out simply because one puts in the effort goes counter to how real life and karma work. There is a lot to be happy about and it is my own negative – and why not spell it out: toxic – way of seeing things that gets in the way of my own happiness.

What if things are going exactly the way they are and they are supposed to go and that my own luck and happiness with smooth sailing are just around the corner but that I cannot see it yet? What if the next curve or curve ball will lead me to my own treasure, not only an outer one but more importantly an inner one?

And yet, I feel very happy, and yes, lucky, and the rest shall fall into place sooner or later. What I need to do in the meantime is to empty myself from certain unreasonable and inflexible demands of the petty and limited ego voice and be open and receptive to what shall come my way and then embrace it wholeheartedly. It most likely is not what I expect but it may be in fact even better. And it’s going to be about time that my chickens will come home to roost, and my horse will finally win the highly coveted and cherished Kentucky Derby!

Out of this World: My Lower Back Pain and Space Genetics with Christopher Mason

Over the past years, I have attended the Don Rix Distinguished Keynote Addresses with great enthusiasm and almost religious fervor. And no, it’s not just because of the food and wine (full disclosure: we receive a complimentary drink coupon) but it is for the distinguished speakers who share and present their research and various insights with all of us.

In fact, I have seen a number of speakers on different topics at this wonderful annual Genome BC event starting with Dr. Clare M. Fraser on the human microbiome in 2019, the pandemic-induced virtual event with Carl Hansen in 2020 (alas no food or drink for that one!), then had Dr. Caroyln Hogg talk about koalas and Tasmanian devils in 2022, followed by the always interesting and outstanding Wade Davis (the author of The Serpent and the Rainbow) talk about "The Wayfinders of Genomic Wisdom" in 2023, and just last year, we had Dr. Sam Aparicio help us decode cancer and its management via the genomics revolution.

So here we are in 2025 and I was looking forward to Dr. Christopher Mason’s talk entitled “Space Genetics: Epigenetic evolution in Cancer, and a 500-year plan for Synthetic Biology” which was almost as bonkers as Wade’s brilliant address and I should have expected it based not only on the title but the slightly erratic and idiosyncratic spelling thereof. As someone who can be analytical and structured, I found the random capitalization or rather non-capitalization of certain words like evolution and plan to be equally disconcerting and enticing.

That Monday started off with a low-grade lower back pain, which I decided to completely ignore and disregard and went to the gym, nonetheless. I wanted to embrace the “No pain, no gain” mentality for a change. That said, the subsequent walk to the Convention Centre was difficult to say the least. Not only was I space walking in slow-mo with various involuntary stops due to sharp back pain but I realized and understood why lumbago is called “Hexenschuss” (literally "shot by witches") in German. I pictured three witches in black rolling with laughter and putting pins in that precise area of my back as I was trying to walk down the streets.

There were moments I considered dropping by the emergency room worried whether I would be able to make it there if the pain continued and increased proportionally. And yet, the pain-gain correlation was still fresh in the back of my mind, and I really did not want to miss out on this talk on space and genomics. I made it there in one piece, found my seat and decided to sit still and not budge for the remainder of the address.

Next to me were a couple of math teachers – I assume this because one of them was marking a bunch of math exams before the talk commenced. Those numbers and symbols were the root cause of some trauma for me, and I was going to tell her this was giving me PTSD. Then, I thought, she probably did not want to hear this from me and instead noticed how the lack of physical movement was good for my back.

And so, the event started after the usual predictable openings, introductions, and formalities, which I would have gladly skipped on a recording but unfortunately, you cannot really do that at live events. I was eager to see what Dr. Christopher Mason was all about and I was not to be disappointed. He did not mince words and started right away with a journey to Mars and asked us whether the body can survive such a physically and mentally demanding voyage.

What were the potential risks and hazards and how could they be circumvented or be accounted for? There were drills and exercises starting in parabolic flights in the 50s to simulate and prepare for such trips to space, including a rather hilarious video of cats floating in microgravity. This was not all fun and games as the scientific question of whether cats would land on their feet when in space was probed and examined in rigorous detail. The answer is no. I wondered if people felt back pain in space and whether one could say “no gravity, no pain”? The question did not occur to me at the event, so unfortunately, I did not ask him there and then.

By using NASA Twins Study, with Mark Kelly being on earth and Scott Kelly in space, scientists were able to discern and note some key differences between the two. Scott Kelly, who was in space, had certain changes to his genes: he got taller and younger! Sadly, those effects did not last but the interesting finding was that his telomeres were longer. These had something to do with the aging process, i.e. a positive effect, but they seemed to be also somewhat corelated with cancer. You just can’t have it all, can you now?

The interesting observation here was how the immune system responds to gravity and how gene expressions could be turned on and off in that process. Everyone is different, not only on earth but also in space and we all have different stress responses. By engaging in space omics studies, there is a lot that can be learned from all of this. (There are the inherent drive and desire to study pregnancies in space but that is obviously ethically questionable. Apparently, according to the records, there has been officially no sex in space, but that statement seems rather doubtful and perhaps unrealistic; anyhow, this particular study has been put on hold for now.)

The other aspect to study is the effects and changes of the microbiome. Dr. Mason gave the examples of crowded elevators or physical sports where microbiomes are shared and exchanged freely and copiously, which sounds like great fun. The most telling and slightly disturbing example of microbiomes was his daughter’s first visit to New York in which she licked a subway pole, which would be a most terrifying event in any parent’s life but putting on his scientific hat, he found the question rather intriguing.

As a result, they swabbed whole areas to find out. A simple lick snowballed and led to a full-fledged study, which demonstrated that 50% of found organisms were unknown. I found this shocking and terrifying, but Christopher Mason seemed rather at ease and nonchalant about it all including the discovery of 11000 new viruses. He claimed that they were not dangerous and that it all depended upon one’s immune system but licking random poles may be “probably fine” as he was later (mis)quoted in the media.

Now the question is how could we improve not only the microbiome but also make genetic modifications that could help an astronaut survive (and may I add thrive) in space? This would form a sort of protective shield or mechanism where certain genes could be turned on or off at will. For instance, apparently, we have a gene that can produce Vitamin C but that is turned off and no longer used.

Why would that matter? Well, here’s an interesting tidbit of information: both cats and dogs can produce their own Vitamin C, and this is why they do not get scurvy. Us humans, however, need to ensure we get our dose of this vitamin to protect ourselves from this disease. Why not just turn on the gene and be all right? And what would be the repercussions in terms of other diseases and the treatment of cancer and genetic illnesses? These are realities and possibilities thanks to many advances made in genomics and gene technology, such as epigenetic CRISPR.

This was an interesting mix and exploration of genetics and space, merging the micro with the macro world. As Chris (we are on a first-name basis now) remarked our time on this planet and this universe is limited seeing that we shall experience either a Big Crunch or a Big Rip sooner or later. It is shocking that regardless of what we do or don’t do to each other and our species on this planet, there is an expiry date attached to the universe.

And that would make space exploration a necessity for survival. And one of the biggest takeaways here is that we should preserve and keep hope alive and not be crushed by worries or back pain, which incidentally went away after a couple of glasses of red wine, courtesy of Genome BC.

Ode to Astrology: That Cursive Writing in Them Skies Above

“Que será, será.

Whatever will be, will be.

The future's not ours to see.”

Doris Day

I cannot but marvel at the night sky canvas filled with stars and imagine how they influence our lives on this tiny blue planet. We have various tools at our disposal to try to make sense of what is happening to our human lot down here and they can range from philosophy and religion to astrology and the occult arts and humanities. I am omitting sciences here not because I don’t believe in them or their utility but rather because disciplines like biology tend to be microcosmic and reductionistic in nature and are often set and grounded in their views and outlook; to illustrate, the one astronomy course I took as an elective (and as one of my science requirements) bored me to tears despite its grand scope and scale.

Astrology is to me akin to psychoanalysis like a distant cousin or a half-sister. It expresses a deep hidden truth that the more earthbound sciences (choose to?) miss out on. Astrology not unlike Tarot or I Ching dives into the unconscious and unearths gems and treasures that are not visible to the naked eye and impervious to cold facts and hard-boiled logic. It is not about selecting one or the other; it is about acknowledging that reason is valuable but so is our intuitive sense, something that we often ignore, underplay, or disregard to our own detriment.

Full disclosure: my own personal relationship with astrology has been spotty. I have managed to cover the whole gamut and spectrum starting off with teenage curiosity and with my young adult version casting doubts, as he was skeptical about its claims whereas at this stage of my life (i.e. midlife crisis), I find myself on the other side, hence completing my character arc from a cautious believer to a full-fledged fan and perhaps a few steps short of being a fanatic.

That I should eventually embrace astrology again and more warmly should not come as a surprise because I have been a fervent believer in oracles with some decades-long practice of reading and consulting Tarot cards that have been spot-on, precise, and uncanny in their predictions, alongside my unusual and uncommon habit of finding numerous playing and occasionally Tarot cards on the streets that would then guide me in my personal and professional life, including and most notably The World Tarot card, which at the time encouraged me to continue not only with my blog endeavor (Arash’s World) but to expand into podcast territory. The signs spoke, and I listened and acted upon them.

All these arts are linked and interconnected and are somewhat unfortunately labeled, stigmatized, and categorized under the occult rubric, which if you strip away the negative connotations can be simply seen as the diving into the unknown, a mysterious and mystic yet certainly existent and feebly tangible realm of sorts.

So what made me reconsider and turn around and embrace astrology more firmly? On a more objective level, I began to wonder how large physical bodies in space can affect each other in different ways. This goes beyond the gravitational push and pull and I’m not referring to spooky entanglements (though they are assuredly cool) but it also includes how emotions and perhaps outcomes may be influenced by a physical body from afar.

The moon does not merely affect the ebbs and tides but also our emotions, leading to restless and sleepless nights for some or a general surplus of positive and negative feelings for others. All the while, the moon is such a small body compared to the innumerable stars and planets all around us, and so, it is not farfetched to acknowledge that there may be something there.

Yet, more importantly, I have seen the stars work their magic on a more personal level. On one hand, there seems to be consensus and overlap among different readings and horoscopes. Of course, there may be fluctuations in how the data is interpreted and represented according to the given astrologer but there tends to be enough common ground across the board. A parallel I could think of, and I have mentioned earlier, would be psychoanalysis, another discipline that I moved heartily towards believing in its insights fervently and with all the fibers of my triple mind-body-spirit being.

Astrology like psychoanalysis is essentially an art form. For instance, a symbol in a dream may slightly change according to a psychoanalyst or the patient in question but there tends to be a general agreement and a baseline consensus among the professionals and practitioners.

Yet the poignant level of detail, depth, and accuracy never fails to surprise me in these fields. Sometimes my horoscope would not predict what happens but rather give me a very precise and uncanny snapshot of my emotional state of a given moment, which I can immediately verify to be true, and which is a staple of Tarot card readings that are referring to past or present circumstances.

At times, it may feel as if someone either has found access to my thoughts or to my journal or even both but that’s crazy talk of course, even crazier than what I am contemplating and saying in this blog post. But there is an at times jarring and spinetingling realization that there is more than is apparent to the eye or the logical brain.

I want to thank astrology and all astrologers that are engaged in this noble profession and who day in day out face the skeptics and non-believers with poise and confidence and their heads up; they know this to be true deep in their hearts and souls and are fully aware that their profession is noble and of help to others. Astrology is not unlike religion, but it is freer and more precise while fluctuating according to outward circumstances. It is about reading the signs and then coloring and interpreting them but one does not control the signs and becomes only a messenger and transmitter of them.

Also, over the last year or so, astrology has been serving as my unofficial guide and therapist (interestingly a both cheaper and more accurate and more competent one). What used to be sporadic findings of cards is now a regular daily practice for me. Not all predictions and observations are and come true of course. But when they are right, they are exact. And it is sometimes hard truths that I must face while also offering encouragement when I find myself drenched in doubt or stuck in a quagmire. The other benefit is that this source, like the other occult practices, is wise and sees beyond oneself in space and time and it can even read other people’s minds and intentions.

In a sense, Doris Day gets it wrong. The future can be read if you look at it closely. It is like reading tea leaves, runes, or cards; at the same time, you do not need any of them, you just need to understand to read the signs, which comes in the shape of coincidences (which incidentally do not exist and are not coincidental after all), happenstance, synchronicity, and intuition. The latter is similar to gut feelings but goes much deeper and is often harder to discern yet much more accurate and reliable with its straight and express connection line to the heart.

Moreover, there are two realms that exist simultaneously and may or may not be connected to each other. On one hand, the free will that we have, and which often comes with a surplus of mistakes and errors (such is the lot of being an imperfect human), while the other domain is fate, namely that which is embedded and engraved in the stars and cannot be changed, moved, or altered. Occasionally, they may be linked to each other in a certain degree or angle, at least in the sense of awareness, where one needs to come to a certain conclusion or gain certain insights so that one can fully embrace and embark upon one’s destiny.

I believe that many of our major life changes, including our eventual demise, fall into the fixed and permanent category. We can rail against it; we can try to avoid it, lock ourselves up in a bunker or a germfree hotel but when the time has come, we must leave one way or another. There’s no escaping that part of our fate.

Intuitively, I feel that finding true love or encountering one’s soul mate is also part of that domain. This gives me a sense of hope with a certain relief since I may, with my free will, mess things up (romantically things almost always go haywire but not always nor necessarily due to my own fault and misgivings) but that the stars will already know this and take it into account by correcting, adjusting, and guiding me along the way. Eventually, they will put me on the path that I am meant to tread as opposed to the maze I am currently finding myself in. To quote from a motet by Bach (though not the one you are thinking of), I do not let you, but you bless me, nonetheless. *

 

*“Ich lasse dich nicht, du segnest mich denn” BMV 1164 by Johann Christoph Bach who was Johann Sebastian’s father’s cousin and not to be confused with Bach’s son Johann Christoph Friedrich Bach.