Mind and Cherish your Coincidences: An Interview with Dr. Neil J. Farber

In the Bible, dreams were the portal through which messages were delegated from the spiritual realm with the earthly one below. Not only would God-sent angels communicate with mortal humans, but these prophetic dreams and guidance would be vital and often lifesaving information for the parties involved. The father of psychoanalysis Sigmund Freud considered dreams the royal road to the unconscious. When people dismiss dreams or deem apparent coincidences and connections in life to be randomly generated, empty, and meaningless processes, then I would like to contort that the universe is not haphazard but works like ingenious clockwork with or without a Creator working at its helm.

It should then come as no coincidence or surprise that I was thrilled to speak to Dr. Neil J. Farber about his book Serendipity: Utilizing Everyday Unexpected Events to Improve Your Life and Career. Dr. Farber is a general internist with over forty years of seeing patients, teaching, and doing academic research. He has written and published over 60 scientific medical articles on various fascinating topics. What most resonated with me was his patient-centered approach in which the doctor does not quickly diagnose patients nor jump to conclusions but instead opts to work with the patient to shed light, better understand, and treat the ailment the patient is afflicted with.

Applying this wide-angled approach combined with ample knowledge and experience, Dr. Farber has been helping patients throughout his career. His approach actively involves and invokes the patient in the process of exploration; he would let the patient tell their story and end up getting more information that way. This compassionate and humanistic way of dealing with patients alongside his own teaching of mindfulness within the medical practice has not only changed but significantly improved and enriched the field and community.

Recently, propelled by a dream, he has embarked upon sharing his experiences both personal and biographical with all of us on the fascinating topic of coincidences. At a young age, he knew that he wanted to be a physician, and now in retirement, he knew what kind of book he wanted to write about; the latter happened one night after a dream and although he could not recall the exact details of it, he was suddenly made aware of its topic: serendipity.

But what exactly is serendipity, I asked him. It stems from a Persian tale of three princes living on an island called Serendip (modern-day Sri Lanka). Anytime, these three princes had a wish, it would appear in front of them, and it was as such that the term serendipity was coined and came into existence in the 18^th century by the British writer Horace Walpole.

However, serendipity is not a matter of sheer luck, and it is important to know and highlight the difference between the two concepts. Luck, which incidentally could be qualified as good or bad, just happens to you; you do not have to be involved or even do anything for it to happen and occur. Or if anything, it may involve very minimal effort, such as buying a lottery ticket that, as luck would have it, turns out to be the winning number.

On the other hand, serendipity is a process that you would have to be actively involved. For instance, it does not just happen on its own, but you would have to recognize the event and then realize it. It is generally something meaningful that you would have to recognize, value, and take advantage of. Unlike luck, serendipity is always good, although it may differ in its amount of fruitfulness and its benefits.

For serendipity to occur and to enrich your life, you would have to be in the right mindset. You would need to be observant and curious enough to explore it but also to make connections to previous knowledge and experiences. Apart from connecting the dots, you would need to be mindful and look around to see what is there. Many of us go through life with blindfolds and are in a hurry or in a rush and often miss out on the many glorious options and opportunities that could lead to amazing discoveries alongside personal development.

These “happy accidents”, as I like to term them, have been documented throughout history. A case in point is Scottish physician Sir Alexander Fleming’s accidental discovery of penicillin that has been an astonishing game-changer in the field of medicine and has saved innumerable lives and continues to do so. It all happened due to a string of coincidences that Fleming was observant and astute enough to perceive and act upon.

He had set up his elaborate experiment on a staphylococcus culture plate but since the window had been accidentally left open, mold had landed on the experimental plates. Fleming first thought that the experiment had been a failure until he realized that the mold was secreting a substance that was killing the bacteria. And the rest is history, while countless beings are grateful for this fortunate accident.

How and why does serendipity come about? That question could be contentious as there are different and opposing views on the matter. Some claim that it is because the universe is random, and these random mechanisms lead to certain coincidental outcomes. Since you have so many different haphazard occurrences happening all the time, it is only a matter of time to deduce connections between them. As mentioned earlier, I have difficulty accepting and embracing this view.

Others claim that the universe has a particular established order. This makes more sense to me as I see predetermined meaning and purpose in the sequences and strings of coincidences that lead to certain outcomes down the line. In many cases, everything had to happen a certain way for the present moment to be as it is. Make certain changes, incisions, and adjustments across the interconnected and interdependent line of existence, and many things would be different and have different results and outcomes. For instance, if my great-great-great-grandfather had not glanced at a specific woman walking down the road one afternoon, I would not be here writing this. These strings of important and relevant events may or may not have been brought about by a higher power, but that is left to one’s own belief system to decipher and to make sense and light of.

Personally, I think that the universe is responsive to our heartfelt wishes and desires. Years ago, I was privy to a program called The Secret, which was in turn based on a book by Australian writer Rhonda Byrne. The ideas around the law of attraction presented therein were not only unscientific and hokey pokey but they seemed to amount to mere wishful thinking. But as I am curious and tend to be open to various perspectives and different ways of thinking and as various people and celebrities were earnestly swearing by it, I decided to give it a chance.

I was shocked to find out that it actually worked on several occasions and instances in my life. My wishes had become true in pretty much the exact way and manner I had wished it. For the wish to become true, there are, however, certain prerequisites. First, you would have to make an explicit but relatively reasonable wish and you would have to want and desire it from the bottom of your heart.

Then, you would have to work hard for it. You would have to give it room to appear so tight and limited timeframes would not work. It may take a year or a decade but with consistent persistence and an open and mindful attitude, it will come true. It is certainly not a case of mere wishful thinking as it is not something that will just fall from the skies and happen no matter what.

Again, you would have to work hard, be consistent, be honest, be patient and be aware of the signs and signals that will cross your path. Once you do, it will indeed come true, and there is no scientific explanation and reasoning in my mind to justify its occurrence. In fact, my wish was stated openly on this same blog and a letter purportedly designated to the Almighty or the powers that be. The process could be driven by karma, it could be simply the universe at work or it may even be led and driven by a spiritual entity or higher power.

But as Dr. Farber himself states - and by the way, he tends to be more diplomatic in his responses and does not take definite or definitive sides and stances in the matter - whatever your belief is, it is most important that you recognize that these events are indeed happening and to make them meaningful for yourself. Many things are indeed linked and interconnected whether we perceive them to be so or not. Yet it is our mindful and open attitude that can help us use its power and benefits to improve our lives and most likely those of others around us.

However, many are either afraid of taking the necessary steps or they may get too comfortable with their situation and their status quo. And this type of hindrance and obstacle can stop us in our tracks. In fact, it takes courage to take a different path. We often rationalize and try to convince ourselves that it is better to stay in the current situation and circumstances at the expense of greater opportunities, profound experiences of happiness, and personal fulfillment down the road. By being attentive to and mindful of these signs and coincidences that cross our path, you can improve both your personal as well as professional life.

To watch and listen to the full-length interview with Dr. Neil J. Farber, please click here.

If you prefer podcasts, you really should be following Arash's World Podcast on your favorite platform, but here's a link to the episode ; )

Using Mindfulness to Create Serendipity and to Improve Your Personal and Professional Life