Reflections on Luck: David Milch’s Series on Horse Racing and My Own Life Karma

I’m fascinated and maybe slightly obsessed with horses now. This is news and unexpected to me because equines had never stood out for me, with the brief exception of Mister Ed, a show that I had sporadically watched in my younger years. Two things did not strike me as odd back then since I took them for granted and as a given: one, that a horse could talk - why, of course, they can! - and two, that I should be actually watching a show in which a horse would talk.

After that, horses completely disappeared out my life - except one scary pony ride but we shan’t talk about that - until my recent decision to watch David Milch’s series called Luck. This show deals with the world of horse racing and everything else that’s even remotely related and connected to it. Although luck, coincidences, synchronicity, and serendipity are all themes that have always been of interest to me and that I have previously written, thought, blogged about in one way or another, I got into this series for quite a different reason.

As luck would have it, I happened to ask myself one day, what were some of my all-time favorite series, and David Milch’s Deadwood sprang to mind. The series stood out for me because of its colorful language and its well-rounded characters. By colorful, I don’t necessarily mean the swearing and cussing – though there are exorbitant amounts of that and at times a bit too much for my innocent prudish ears – but rather the poetry behind them. It felt like profanity-ridden Shakespeare on steroids.

But entering Luck was a different ballgame altogether. This was another series that came to a sudden halt but at least it was not as screeching as Deadwood, which ended on a climax and left us not only hanging for more but literally hanging. The addition of the TV movie many moons later was welcome news, but it was too little too late for me.

My initial hesitation to enter the world of Luck was that there was little appeal for me to begin with. I was not a fan of horse racing nor gambling. The fact that it got cancelled due to accidents surrounding a few of its horses, which had to be euthanized, only underscored the irony of the situation. In a series that purported to analyze luck while also imbuing all episodes with a palpable love and concern for horses and their wellbeing, it was highly unlucky that it ended up being eventually cancelled at the behest of PETA.

Yet, apart from learning some of the ins and outs of the world of horse racing, what trainers and owners go through, how agents recruit jockeys and how jockeys train and how - not unlike supermodels - they have to watch their weight to be able to ride and participate, and let alone all the folks betting money on potential outcomes, there was a lot to digest in this series.

To be honest, I needed at least three episodes to get used to the jargon and understand some of the motivations behind the characters but albeit confusing, it was never boring to me nor was it ever too much to handle. Incidentally, I was happy and content to find out that seasoned critics had been struggling with the same issues, so it was not just me nor my lack of knowledge and understanding at play here.

The most fascinating thing, without giving much away here, is that Milch looks at luck from an objective almost clinical perspective. In a way, he shuns our traditional and admittedly moral view of good versus bad luck. Bad things happen but then they may lead to good outcomes, while good outcomes can have negative consequences while at the same time, there are good intentions that lead to tragic and disastrous results. At other times, luck has no repercussion or value whatsoever on some of its protagonists. They either don’t see it or just don’t care.

Early on in the series, a group of friends make a bet, and they win big time. Now we would say that they are lucky. But for starters, this was due to a meticulous and hard-earned winning strategy by one of the group’s masterminds – let’s call him Jerry because that was his name - who made very precise and calculated bets that luckily enough paid off.

Yet, we soon find out that this genius on the horse racetrack has been struggling with his own set of demons. He has a gambling addiction and loses most of his share in playing poker against a Chinese shark; they mock and spar with each other and egg the other one on to continue playing with racist jeers from either side. The previous gain from the bet is making Jerry play and play on and lose more money hence turning what ought to be beneficial into something detrimental.

All the while, the group is hesitant to declare their winnings at first. This is because they are paranoid that somebody could try to steal the money from them, to rob them. As a result, they are trying to keep a low profile. And just like the gambling addiction, they do not call it quits, taking their winnings and starting their new happy life; no, they keep on betting because they want to win even more money, and thus the vicious cycle continues. To increase their winnings, they even buy their own horse to run and bet on, and they take on added responsibilities of paying a trainer all the time worrying about their horse’s health, a common preoccupation among this type of ownership.

Now what has all or any of that to do with my own life? Apart from me wanting to go to my very first horse race soon – I will keep you posted with a post on that! - and being drawn to anything horse-related - there was a weekend I attended an awesome show entitled Blue Horse Opera (by the way horse opera was a term used for westerns and it was not an opera) and later attending a wine tasting of a local vineyard run by a French-speaking philosopher-friend entitled Whispering Horse, which I am going to drink around Thanksgiving - there are certain aspects that have been shaping my own perspective on luck and karma.

I have noted and it is something I repeatedly mention on my podcast that it is the suffering or admittedly bad luck that helps us advance more in our quest for spiritual growth and healing as opposed to when things are just fine or going well for us. This is because when things are going good, there is little incentive or motivation to do things differently: if it ain’t exactly broke, why the hell would you want to fix it in the first place?

It’s when things go sour, and worse, when you are about to hit rock bottom that you are forced to do things differently or change your view and outlook on certain things. This is also directly related to my view of luck. I would consider myself lucky overall but have had ratches of not-so-good luck even though I have been working and trying very hard.

This has been felt and observed in my personal and professional life. I just could not help feeling that the cards seem to be stacked against me. Yes, I am blessed in many ways and very grateful for many good things that I have in my life but there has always been a cap, which I have found rather unreasonable and not proportional to the amount of work, effort, energy, and good will that I bring to the table. To put it more bluntly, I feel that I am not getting what I’m due and that I’m being short-changed in the process.

In other words, I’m still waiting for a lucky break, and karma just does not seem to be on my side. I do understand that this is a rather simplistic view of things, and it has a why me or oh-woe-me flavor to it. It reached its apex around two years ago when I was crossing the Burrard bridge after a Cosmic Night event at the Space Centre. I had just missed the bus and was stuck in the cold with both my professional and personal life in shambles at the time.

They still are by the way but I have come to accept that things do take their time, that even though I experience headwinds they do not last forever – albeit a really long time – and yet, I have to keep trying and preserve my vision and pursue my dreams despite the odds. This is often difficult and very frustrating when things do not work out for no apparent reason. It is like studying very hard for an exam and still failing it over and over again.

It feels not fair, and one may even feel entitled to get angry and lash out, but this is not how I want to react from now on. I want to continue working and trying hard for its own sake by not expecting (immediate) results. And in fact, ever since I am focusing only on the path and the journey by lessening my own wishes and expectations, I find myself in a much happier state. All I can do is to be true to myself and try as hard as I can.

Certainly, the desire to have tangible outcomes is important, and without it, I would be deluding myself but at the same time, expecting things to work out simply because one puts in the effort goes counter to how real life and karma work. There is a lot to be happy about and it is my own negative – and why not spell it out: toxic – way of seeing things that gets in the way of my own happiness.

What if things are going exactly the way they are and they are supposed to go and that my own luck and happiness with smooth sailing are just around the corner but that I cannot see it yet? What if the next curve or curve ball will lead me to my own treasure, not only an outer one but more importantly an inner one?

And yet, I feel very happy, and yes, lucky, and the rest shall fall into place sooner or later. What I need to do in the meantime is to empty myself from certain unreasonable and inflexible demands of the petty and limited ego voice and be open and receptive to what shall come my way and then embrace it wholeheartedly. It most likely is not what I expect but it may be in fact even better. And it’s going to be about time that my chickens will come home to roost, and my horse will finally win the highly coveted and cherished Kentucky Derby!