A Room of Our Own: An Interview with Creativity Coach Eric Maisel

“O God, I could be bounded in a nutshell and count myself a king of infinite space, were it not that I have bad dreams.”

Hamlet Act 2 Scene 2

"Yes, we all need a room of our own, and it's alright

Yes, we all need a place to call home."

Billy Joel

We all need a room of our own. This need certainly surfaces and arises in adolescence, if not sooner, and it is something we carry around with us for the rest of our lives. It is a place that we fully identify with, and in which, our freedom, privacy, and our core being are valued and respected. It is often a physical room, like teenagers who have their own space and area where they listen to the music they like and where they can freely talk to and be with anyone they desire.

It can also be a specific location and space that we cherish, a park bench, a relaxing spot away from the office, a coffee place, or even our mental space where we can be who we are and do as we like. This room of our own exists even when we are living with another person, when we are married and have children, or are surrounded by many people. It can also exist when we find ourselves in a confined space, such as in a hospital ward or in a prison.

In fact, as Eric Maisel, family therapist and creativity coach pointed out to me, the medieval monastery cell was not that different from a prison cell in terms of shape and size. The difference lay in the fact that the monk had freedom of movement if he chose to do so but there was also a significant shift in their mindset and overall experience. A monk may deliberately choose and opt for that confined lifestyle and even delight and relish in it. Although a prisoner does not deliberately make that choice, he or she could still consider themselves a king (or queen) of infinite space, but unlike Hamlet without the accompanying nightmares. Similarly, you could be living in a luxury home and still feel bound and imprisoned, not physically but rather mentally and emotionally.

Now that we have established both the physical room, but more importantly, the mind-over-matter mental and emotional room, I would like to point out Eric Maisel’s ingenious approach to this mindroom of ours as depicted, described, and elaborated in his excellent book Redesigning your Mind: The Breakthrough Program for Real Cognitive Change.

I had the pleasure and honor to talk to him about how you can not only see and spend time in this mindroom of yours but how you can actively change it by reimagining, redecorating, and repainting it in various different beautiful, and colorful ways and manners. In fact, most of us are living our days in a mindroom that is stuffy and filled with repetitive, limited, and limiting thoughts circulating in our weary and exhausted heads and bodies.

But what if you installed large sun-filled windows into it and opened the window to let the breeze in to clear the stuffy air! What if you scraped off the old wallpaper and replaced it with new vibrant and shiny colors! What if you put in a light switch that you can flip on when proverbial nights set in and, as such, be able to brighten our rooms? For those of us who have a somber in-dwelling style, an anxious, fearful, critical, and often angry outlook and feeling, why not imagine a brighter place and lighten your surroundings with a much better view and vista?

Eric’s idea of seeing your own mind as a room is immensely creative and commendable. Descartes had seen the mind as a stage but that would be too much in the public view, and it would be bound with stress and pressure without barely any privacy or intimacy. To imagine your mind not only as your own room but to visualize changes and amendments within it, is absolutely fascinating and enticing to me. You are what you think, but what if you started thinking differently, and, as such, were able to change our mindset and shift your paradigm towards real change, as the subtitle in Eric’s book is alluding to. 

There is a problem though, but it is not insurmountable: We all carry a bed of nails in our respective mindrooms. The room is haunted and imbued with secrets, ghosts, and ghouls of the past, subjective experiences of failures here and there, and depreciating and belittling comments, rumors, and gossip that we heard and overheard and that we infused into our private spheres. The traumatic bed of nails is pain-inducing, but it can be hauled out and be replaced by a soft comfy bed or an easy chair.

In fact, CBT (short for Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) has its strengths and merits and can be moderately successful for dealing with certain issues and problems related to mental health and healthy functioning, but it also has its share of shortcomings with (pun alert) significant room for improvement. Its main dilemma exists in the perplexing feat of trying to replace a negative thought with a positive one. All this does is accumulate thoughts, and, in the end, all you are left with is, in Eric’s words, the idea of merely arm-wrestling thoughts.

But by moving away from this dilemma and changing your perspective - and keep in mind, he’s a creativity coach - then we can have the ability to change the source and origin of those thoughts. Once we start doing that, it is not just about gaining and maintaining control but living in peace and tranquility where the thoughts we do not want do not even bother to arise in the first place!

Since the body and mind are inherently and intricately connected, you can indeed use the mind to make and bring about the changes that you want to see and make in your daily life. All you need to do is to go to your room, a well-chosen and well-suited metaphor for our purposes, and imagine it differently; you would make changes that make sense and that are useful to you at that specific moment of your life. Visualization and imagination are proven and evidence-based ways that can help us break out of the rut and the vicious cycle we have gotten ourselves into and we have become entangled and enmeshed in.

To return to the previously mentioned prison metaphor, we can transform the prison cell into a monk cell. As Eric explains, medieval monks and prisoners were technically in the same place, it was practically the same dark-walled place after all, and yet, they had different experiences, and they related to the place in very different ways and manners.

So we can overcome our own limiting metaphors and completely change the orientation of our very own mindroom as well as how it feels to us; we can do so by metaphorically removing the bars and by being aware that we literally are able to get out of this perceived prison. In this way, we can become aware of and activate and engage with our inherent potential and the many opportunities and possibilities both within and without.

One of the problems is that we are just not honest and truthful enough with ourselves. This is to our detriment as we have wall-papered our mindrooms with lies, falsehood, delusions, and deception. Moreover, we do not feel prepared for life and do not know how to respond to various situations in our life that may feel out of control. Hence, we simply abandon ideas or disregard and sabotage opportunities that could be helpful and beneficial to our psyche. In fact, we get badly stuck in life because we have simply not thought things through.

The way to overcome and circumvent this is to create our very own speaker’s corner in a designated corner of our mindroom. That is the place where we can freely speak and say what is on our mind without worries about getting into trouble and without censorship. Just say it, let it out whatever it is, and speak your mind.

This type of visualization is a form of rehearsal, the same way we can prepare for all types of performances, athletic or artistic, as well as for upcoming challenges and difficult and potentially stressful situations like job interviews or marriage proposals. Yet by rehearsing talking points, by going through it in our mind, we are priming and preparing ourselves for potential success and we will have answers ready at hand.

Eric’s creative, insightful, and humorous book, which makes psychology even more fun and interesting, can help us not only see things and ourselves differently and in a different light and room but it can also facilitate change in our lives and help us become better versions of ourselves. Without that bed of nails and the fear and insecurity nagging in our entrails, we can free ourselves towards fully being ourselves.

Yet I want to take this metaphor a bit further. It is true that we crave a room of our own, a private and even scared space that represents us, that is the home of our home, the heart of our heart and in which we can truly and fully be ourselves without worry or concern about pleasing others, friends, and family members, nor be concerned about displeasing others with our words and actions.

It is true that we need to use words and language to communicate and express our ideas and to identify and label our feelings. Thoughts expressed in words are vital and unavoidable, and they can potentially, when practiced with awareness and mindfulness, lead to gains and insights into our beings, that of others as well as our relationships with them.

But here’s a radical thought: what if you do not need to change your mindroom after all? What if it is the thought and language that are creating the limits and establishing the boundaries within yourself? What if there is “no best version” out there but there is an “only you” version: your unique way of being yourself. What if the most beautiful and life-transforming feats are not enshrined and enveloped in thoughts but simply are what they are without any comment or judgment, thoughtless and yet filled with feelings of bliss? What if there is after all a spiritual realm that we can simply tap into and connect with?

Did Eric’s idea for this book not come from in-spir-ation? Was it not that spiritual realm and sacred place that presented him with a gift and that he accepted, unwrapped, sculpted, and chiseled for us in elaborate and precise words as a form of dedication of and devotion for divine knowledge? But then again, the truth of truths cannot be spoken nor expressed, and as such, some unspoken truths are better left unsaid.

 

Acknowledgments

I want to thank Eric Maisel for this mind-blowing interview. He was also the catalyst for me finally buying a new, more comfortable and convenient, and well-deserved chair for my office! Thank you for the inspiration and motivation!

 

Here are some additional links to his book:

Amazon- http://bit.ly/RedesignYourMind

Chapters-Indigo- http://bit.ly/RedesignYourmind

Bookshop- http://bit.ly/RedesignyourMind

Barnes and Noble- http://bit.ly/redesignYourMind

Indiebound- http://bit.ly/redesignyourmind

 

Moreover, I recommend checking out the full-length interview, which includes fascinating topics that are not covered in my blog post above, including further insights into creativity and the creative process, authoritarianism, and Improv comedy!

 

You can access it via YouTube or via my podcast: Arash’sWorld Podcast.

Turning Negativity into Pure Gold: An Inspiring Interview with H. I. Yates

“While psychiatry is concerned with the question of why some people become insane, the real question is why most people do not become insane.”

Erich Fromm

All you need to do these days is turn on your television, browse through the news or Social Media, walk outside of your home, and you will most certainly stumble upon some sort of negativity. You do not have to look very hard to spot and find toxic attitudes and behaviors, especially nowadays. The world is topsy-turvy and has gone mad, and I am more than ever reminded of the wise words of Erich Fromm regarding sanity and that the question should be rephrased to not why people go insane but rather why and how they do not.

But matters of sanity aside, negativity is not the place you want to remain or dwell at. Negativity and its dark companion trauma should not be your status quo in your life. You want to be aware of it, hold it in your palm and feel its pulse, and then let it go and free and release yourself from its toxic waste and fumes. You want to transform negativity and, as a result, and through it, be transformed yourself.

The latest guest on Arash’s World knows a lot about this, and she is, in fact, all about transformation. I had the pleasure to talk to H. I. Yates, CEO and Founder of Luv Mark and author of the book Dissolvingthe Anchor: Untethering Dysphoria and Self-Doubt to Create an Empowered Life.

She has had her own share of struggles, pain, and difficulties but has managed to deal with them and to leave that dark place behind, while she is now sharing with us her profound insights and her love and affection for everyone who needs to deal with negativity and toxic thoughts and harmful behaviors. In this way, and to a large extent thanks to her own personal experiences, she has the power to help us deal with our issues in our own world and on our own terms.

It is a seismic shift in mindset that transforms the whole being, a step that may look easy at first sight but it is indeed profoundly difficult and challenging to undertake. It is not unlike forgiveness. The act itself may look and sound simple, but it can be trying under various circumstances, and in different contexts, it can be one of the most difficult things to do. And yet, it is also profoundly liberating and life-changing for those who truly manage to forgive others and themselves in the process.

Yet most of us, whether we accept and acknowledge it or not, is not there (yet) and, more often than not, we go through our lives unhappy, lonely, dissatisfied, and disappointed. The word dysphoria, which denotes and symbolizes a wide range of negative feelings, such as unease, unhappiness, and dissatisfaction, is included in and is part of the title of her book, and it is, unfortunately, a lived and experienced reality for many of us.

When Hailima talks about overcoming loneliness, a negative self-image, and low self-esteem, I could personally relate to various of those issues. We discussed the often prevalent - and for the most part misguided - drive for perfection that is often coupled with the sense of impostor syndrome, the feeling that we are seemingly not good enough (nor ever shall be so) no matter how much we know or how hard we try.

As to perfection, I loved Hailima’s witty observations and remarks, such as, why do you want to be perfect in the first place and how great or fun would that be anyhow? Apart from being unattainable in the first place, perfection also sounds pretty bland and boring to me, and it is a state with nowhere to go and that I could gladly dispense with.

But society is often pushing us in that direction and applauding us when we supposedly are - or rather claim to be - perfectionists. In fact, this causes more harm than good. Many people fail to finish what they have started because they feel it is always inadequate and never complete. Many become filled with self-doubt and are worried and preoccupied with what others will say and think about them. 

Trying to make things perfect - and worse, trying to be perfect - is often a sign of insecurity and of being afraid of and haunted by the lens and perception of others. Yet whatever your undertaking or your endeavor may be, if you try your best, you put your heart and soul into it, and it is what you truly believe in, then it will be worth both its salt and weight in gold, and then some.

One of the most important steps to take towards liberating yourself from deep-seated fear, insecurity and trauma is the often-unacknowledged fact that our past circumstances, our childhood, and upbringing influence our current choices in life. That pertains to various areas of our life, including but not limited to career and relationship choices, how we treat ourselves and others, and also how connected and in touch we are with our own emotions.

It may come down to a single disturbing and life-changing event, but more often, it is a range and a gamut of seemingly minor pain-filled traumatic experiences. Some of them are stark, may shake us to the core and can be unbearable, while others could be growing bits by bits over time. In either case, trauma will have lingering effects on our overall health and wellness, and we often try to evade these uncomfortable feelings by repressing or ignoring the important and vital messages from our body and mind.

When we do not address these feelings, issues, and situations, they often become incorporated and embodied in an internal dialogue. These are the messages we keep telling ourselves, which will influence both our outlook and our actions. Over time, these negative messages and emotions become absorbed by the inner critic, a voice that can be an amalgamation of beliefs that others have of us or that we attribute to them and then apply them to ourselves.

The source may be our parents or relatives, teachers, or fellow students and friends as well as media, television, and the internet, all of which may have had a hand and say in influencing you and shaping the way you feel about life as well as your relationships with others. This may be the underlying reason why we falsely believe and assume that we are not good enough, but this entrenched negative outlook and belief system is pervasive and harmful as it often becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

We want to be aware of all of this to be able to make a deep mindset shift. We want to move to a place where we can intentionally make choices towards the life that we want to live according to our guidelines and choices and under our standards. Our pain and suffering, the trauma and the haunting ghosts of our past can then provide important, necessary, and even vital insights and guidance to be able to emotionally heal and handle the many struggles and adversity coming our way.

At that point, you are not driven and compelled by forces outside of you, but you take up the necessary agency, control, and responsibility to create the life that you really want and wish to have. These insights and this confidence come from the depths of our pain that we manage to effectively and successfully overcome, and we let go of the anchor, the weighty placeholder of all our obstacles, which, up to that point of our lives, has been holding us back in the guise and shape of self-defeating beliefs and behavior. It is this anchor that has caused the obstacles and the surplus of negativity within our psyche and that we need to release and dissolve now.

By knowing what has hurt you in the past, you take a definite and decisive stance by not letting it subconsciously control your life ahead. You can use what you have gone through to let yourself grow and heal. If you are not aware of it, if you do not know and understand the roots of your issues and problems, namely, what caused your pain, to begin with, you are going to be reacting and making decisions in a certain way that will not bring about a state of calm and peace, but quite the opposite.

These changes and adjustments are not going to be comfortable, and they will require significant and tremendous effort, but in the end, they will bring you happiness and joy. We are not talking about superficial changes that may bring about temporary happiness, but one that comes from the depths of your being and deeply resonates with you. Realizing this, you can stop feeding the negativity within and you can now dissolve its shackles, and with this, liberate yourself from the power and hold it used to have over you.

This is again why it is utterly important to acknowledge, accept, feel, and process emotions. As Hailima points out, anger seems to be a socially acceptable emotion, but we are much more than our rage and the current state and level of our anger. So many people have made wrong choices in their lives, and many have paid for it in different ways. If we suppress our feelings and let them build and fester in our psyche, our negativity will grow and invade our happiness, and we may even falsely identify with this toxicity.

But once you allow yourself to be, and to be vulnerable, you can free yourself from negative views from the past that are affecting your present. You can then accept yourself as who you are and stop listening to the inner critic; instead, in the words of Hailima, you can now start embracing your inner advocate a bit more. You can then learn to forgive the people who hurt you in the past and then forgive yourself. In this manner, you would release holding on to that pain and guilt, and it is a liberating feeling that can help you to heal emotionally and spiritually.

In fact, you could turn and transform your negativity and suffering into pure gold. It seems that many of us are permanently residing in Plato’s Cave and not realizing that there is a beautiful, shiny, and radiant world outside of the dark compound. In Plato’s Cave, people are bound and are watching flickering shadows on the wall, not aware of a world that exists beyond those confines, a world that is filled with vibrant sunlight, green plants, and colorful flowers. They remain stuck in that position, but one person manages to break free and sees that there is a world behind the world, a source of light behind the shadow that we took for and erroneously thought was reality.

That person was not believed, but it is important to believe Hailima who has experienced the dark recesses of the cave and has managed to break free from its bonds and obstacles. With passion, energy, devotion, and dedication, she provides a clear and shiny example for others to follow. She facilitates and guides many others through her company Luv Mark by highlighting healing, empowerment, peace, and joy, and that is true leadership in my books.

To access my full interview with H. I. Yates, please check it out on YouTube or on my Podcast.

How to Date Smart and NOT be Traumatized by Dating: An Interview with Dr. Carla Marie Manly

When we think and speak of dating, we are often filled with both excitement and apprehension. For some, dating has led to traumatic experiences, and one may embark on its arduous and strenuous path out of necessity or despair; others will relive and re-experience, consciously or unconsciously, traumatic patterns ingrained from and since childhood. Others, on the other hand, may opt for a carefree (and potentially careless) ersatz life of hook-ups and casual encounters without setting any anchors anywhere in sight.

At the same time, some may see the world of dating as an enticing adventurous call beckoning for exploration as it adds to personal experiences, richness, flavor, and complexity while continuously forming and shaping one’s identity. Finally, others will use dating as an accumulation of experience gleaned, gained and harvested over time that would, gradually or eventually, lead to the formation of tender affectionate bonds with a significant other, which may or may not result in a loving and caring family.

To discuss these matters related to dating, in addition to many other details and tidbits of information and insight that emerged during our enthralling conversation, I decided to talk to Dr. Carla Marie Manly, the author of the book Date Smart: Transform your Relationships and Love Fearlessly. Dr. Carla is a clinical psychologist who specializes in relationship issues, stress, and anxiety and who uses the holistic paradigm of body-mind-spirit, which looks at and considers the whole person, i.e., various aspects of each individual, by putting everything in context.

Carla is certainly no stranger to Arash’s World. Incidentally, I reviewed her first book Joy from Fear about two years ago, in which she discusses fear and anxiety and how to deal with them in an effective manner. While other authors and psychologists often merely scratch the surface, Carla amazed me with unusual depth, insight, and originality. It was such an eye-opening experience, and I was so impressed by the book that I felt compelled to overcome and override my own fears and anxieties and directly contacted the author herself. Not only was she most accommodating, friendly, and open, she even agreed to an interview back then.

At that pre-pandemic time, it was simply done with me sending her a list of questions and her responding to me over email. This time around – thanks to technological advance and a wider, more encompassing, and less fearful mindset of yours truly - I have had the pleasure to speak to her in person over Zoom!

Although the topic at hand is dating, fear and anxiety, staples of life in general and seemingly more pronounced in modern life, are not that far off. Many of our dating decisions are influenced, shaped, molded, and imbued with tremors and fears, both of the founded and unfounded kinds. Notwithstanding, the path of dating can be fraught by pitfalls and potential dangers, of one’s physical as well as emotional safety, yet with Carla’s book in hand, embedded with wisdom and insights as well as clinical experience, you will have a much better chance of dealing with the ups and downs, ebbs and flows and the various tidal waves of the dating experience and relationships overall.

Let’s start with a definition of dating. According to Carla, a preliminary and general definition of dating would be to see it as the process of looking for a partner. Personally, I also see it not a status quo nor end in and of itself but as a temporary state and as a means to evolve to something larger and more stable and lasting behind the horizon. It is, especially in its initial stages, but it can also occur and reappear practically at any stage of life, a path of self-discovery and of developing, growing, refining, and enhancing one’s identity.

In the interview, I was interested in the difference between generations and age groups. For instance, when you start off experiencing and experimenting with dating in your teenage years, there are different kinds of fears and peer pressure that surround your experience. The main piece of advice here is to approach it carefully and with caution but also to adjust it to the rhythm and flow of your own life. For instance, if anything does not feel right or good to you, you may want to double-check with yourself to see whether it is what you really want to do.

Dating is essentially a skill that can and should be developed over time. Although some are happy and content to get married and settled with their high school sweethearts, others would benefit from accumulating experience and knowledge as they are aiming for a successful relationship in later stages of their lives. Parents should be open to and mindful with their children and not restrict them too much or overburden them with strict limitations at the onset.

Instead, parents should listen to and tune into their child’s concerns, doubts and wishes, and they should refrain from being overprotective, from punishing their children and from prematurely closing or shutting down those vital communication lines. It is best to adjust to and gently steer across the natural flow of your child’s inner world of experiences.

These early dating experiences, the good and the bad, would often shape one’s later relationships. The negative experiences could come in handy to develop more positive experiences at a later stage, and, at worst, they would stagnate, mire and stymie one’s attempts to bond and connect with another being.

As Carla explains, dating in a global sense is about learning who we are. Her book Date Smart is indeed applicable to everyone because it is really talking about relationships that we have with each other and at all and any point of our lives. In fact, dating does not merely come to a halt when you are married but it can - and I would even say should - be pursued creatively and affectionately even after one has “won over” and “conquered” the heart of one’s love interest.

Love is an ever-growing and ever evolving continuum, and the same skills and self-awareness that helped you to land the right partner can now ensure to keep them and to further develop your intimate relationship with them. Both you and your relationship continue to be a work in progress as well as a beautiful shiny work of art.

Yet both, dating and deepening a relationship come down to essential basic but utterly important characteristics, such as honesty, authenticity, and respect. It is essential both for yourself and the other person involved that you be honest at all stages of your courtship and relationship.

This would start on or even before your first date. If you have chosen to use an online dating app, make sure that relevant and important details are accurate and communicate to others who you are and what it is you are looking for. That would start with your profile, and it is best to do your own and to be straightforward and upfront with others and let them know what it is you are looking for, whether it is a friendship or a life partner, or anything in-between.

Carla’s advice of not having alcohol involved on first dates is also most useful and can help avoid and circumvent disappointment and heartbreak at later stages. Alcohol can dull and confuse the senses; you might miss out on important and vital information, or it may lead to unwanted and uncomfortable situations.

In fact, it is best to meet the other person in your natural state and engage in natural conversation. You can make it an open public space, such as a coffee shop, and it is even better to limit the encounter in terms of time, say a 30-minute date. Furthermore, to take away some of the early jitters, which are often naturally bound to occur in stressful circumstances, such as dating, one can approach each connection as simply meeting someone as a friend; that way it does not feel so terrifying.

One of the best approaches would be to take it slowly and mindfully, as it will take away some of the pressure and the load of expectations of failure and success that we associate with tense and decisive moments. By taking a load off and relaxing, one can not only enjoy the moment much more but also be more perceptive and attuned to the other instead of worrying about oneself, how one looks and the impression one gives off to the other.

Moreover, the dating partner should accept you the way you are and not try to change you or reject parts of yourself. That could include bringing a child into the mix and can even apply to pets. Your potential partner should accept the whole package alongside everyone and everything that is essential and important to you.

It goes without saying that when you have a child, it is of the essence that your potential partner should have a good and caring relationship with him or her, and vice versa. But pets are also quite important for many of us, and they should also be given their place and priority. For many people, pets are faithful friends, companions, and additional members of their family.

They are such a joy to us, and they are often such an integral part of our daily lives that we would want a potential partner to respect and honor that relationship as well. If they do not do so or if they are allergic to certain pets, it would come down to difficult questions of priorities.

Yet if pets are seen as a source of irritation by the other, then that person may not be a good fit after all. It is not fair to be forced to choose between a pet and one’s partner; in fact, it is important for others to accept the whole package, and pets are often part of that bundle. It may not be a perfect package, but if it is a deal-breaker for you personally, regardless of what the other person may say or claim, then it is best to move on and not embark on nor engage in a relationship with that person.

Interestingly, there is a hierarchy when it comes to pets. Cats and dogs are the go-to creatures, while tarantulas are at the bottom. That being said, pets can also give us a good inkling of and idea about the personality of their owner. In my personal experience, pets often come to reflect and mirror their owners, perhaps via spiritual or emotional osmosis, when it comes to personality and behavior. Moreover, even the choice to have snakes or tarantulas as a pet is a telling sign of one’s personality, and others may or may not be all right with or attracted to that personality type.

These different steps and suggestions, alongside 33 practical and insightful mindset shifts that Carla offers in her rich and resourceful book, would help vis-à-vis one’s dating experience, and one can, if not avoid, then at least reduce potential confusion and disappointment in that important domain of our lives. In fact, in her clinical practice, Carla has met people who have been traumatized by their dating relationships, and they would often realize that their chosen partner was simply not right for them.

This lack of self-awareness and perception can affect any age and hence it is important not only to know oneself but to be aware and conscious of one’s attitudes and past experiences and learn and grow from them. Often, we carry along hurt and may not acknowledge it or tend to it or even try to dull it with alcohol, substance abuse or casual encounters, or we may even compartmentalize it all. We may deny ourselves an intimate relationship and simply see our current partner as a placeholder in our lives.

This is not uncommon; there is a lot of heartache going around as we have in many ways become a consumerist and superficial society that is disposable and disposability oriented. We may jump from relationship to relationship without giving either one a chance to develop and prosper, and we may be plowing through people, expecting to meet the right one right around the corner when we never seem to do so.

You do not need to look hard to see various divorces and serial breakups that can only be unhealthy and traumatic for the psyche. It may be the psyche itself that unbeknownst to itself has become a propeller of self-fulling prophecies and has been caught in a vicious cycle of repetitive patterns. Yet realizing this, reaching out for help and assistance, and trying to air and clear the issues by gaining more insight and a clearer perspective into yourself and your relationships can clear the way to have relationships that are less fearful and much more joyful and continue to be a ray of light and inspiration at any stage of your life.

You can access the full-length interview on YouTube and on my podcast: Arash's World Podcast.