Reflections on Luck: David Milch’s Series on Horse Racing and My Own Life Karma

I’m fascinated and maybe slightly obsessed with horses now. This is news and unexpected to me because equines had never stood out for me, with the brief exception of Mister Ed, a show that I had sporadically watched in my younger years. Two things did not strike me as odd back then since I took them for granted and as a given: one, that a horse could talk - why, of course, they can! - and two, that I should be actually watching a show in which a horse would talk.

After that, horses completely disappeared out my life - except one scary pony ride but we shan’t talk about that - until my recent decision to watch David Milch’s series called Luck. This show deals with the world of horse racing and everything else that’s even remotely related and connected to it. Although luck, coincidences, synchronicity and serendipity are all themes that have always been of interest to me and that I have previously written, thought, blogged about in one way or another, I got into this series for quite a different reason.

As luck would have it, I happened to ask myself one day, what were some of my all-time favorite series, and David Milch’s Deadwood sprang to mind. The series stood out for me because of its colorful language and its well-rounded characters. By colorful, I don’t necessarily mean the swearing and cussing – though there are exorbitant amounts of that and at times a bit too much for my innocent prudish ears – but rather the poetry behind them. It felt like profanity-ridden Shakespeare on steroids.

But entering Luck was a different ballgame altogether. This was another series that came to a sudden halt but at least it was not as screeching as Deadwood, which ended on a climax and left us not only hanging for more but literally hanging. The addition of the TV movie many moons later was welcome news, but it was too little too late for me.

My initial hesitation to enter the world of Luck was that there was little appeal for me to begin with. I was not a fan of horse racing nor gambling. The fact that it got cancelled due to accidents surrounding a few of its horses, which had to be euthanized, only underscored the irony of the situation. In a series that purported to analyze luck while also imbuing all episodes with a palpable love and concern for horses and their wellbeing, it was highly unlucky that it ended up being eventually cancelled at the behest of PETA.

Yet, apart from learning some of the ins and outs of the world of horse racing, what trainers and owners go through, how agents recruit jockeys and how jockeys train and how - not unlike supermodels - they have to watch their weight to be able to ride and participate, and let alone all the folks betting money on potential outcomes, there was a lot to digest in this series.

To be honest, I needed at least three episodes to get used to the jargon and understand some of the motivations behind the characters but albeit confusing, it was never boring to me nor was it ever too much to handle. Incidentally, I was happy and content to find out that seasoned critics had been struggling with the same issues, so it was not just me nor my lack of knowledge and understanding at play here.

The most fascinating thing, without giving much away here, is that Milch looks at luck from an objective almost clinical perspective. In a way, he shuns our traditional and admittedly moral view of good versus bad luck. Bad things happen but then they may lead to good outcomes, while good outcomes can have negative consequences while at the same time, there are good intentions that lead to tragic and disastrous results. At other times, luck has no repercussion or value whatsoever on some of its protagonists. They either don’t see it or just don’t care.

Early on in the series, a group of friends make a bet, and they win big time. Now we would say that they are lucky. But for starters, this was due to a meticulous and hard-earned winning strategy by one of the group’s masterminds – let’s call him Jerry because that was his name - who made very precise and calculated bets that luckily enough paid off.

Yet, we soon find out that this genius on the horse racetrack has been struggling with his own set of demons. He has a gambling addiction and loses most of his share in playing poker against a Chinese shark; they mock and spar with each other and egg the other one on to continue playing with racist jeers from either side. The previous gain from the bet is making Jerry play and play on and lose more money hence turning what ought to be beneficial into something detrimental.

All the while, the group is hesitant to declare their winnings at first. This is because they are paranoid that somebody could try to steal the money from them, to rob them. As a result, they are trying to keep a low profile. And just like the gambling addiction, they do not call it quits, taking their winnings and starting their new happy life; no, they keep on betting because they want to win even more money, and thus the vicious cycle continues. To increase their winnings, they even buy their own horse to run and bet on, and they take on added responsibilities of paying a trainer all the time worrying about their horse’s health, a common preoccupation among this type of ownership.

Now what has all or any of that to do with my own life? Apart from me wanting to go to my very first horse race soon – I will keep you posted with a post on that! - and being drawn to anything horse-related - there was a weekend I attended an awesome show entitled Blue Horse Opera (by the way horse opera was a term used for westerns and it was not an opera) and later attending a wine tasting of a local vineyard run by a French-speaking philosopher-friend entitled Whispering Horse, which I am going to drink around Thanksgiving - there are certain aspects that have been shaping my own perspective on luck and karma.

I have noted and it is something I repeatedly mention on my podcast that it is the suffering or admittedly bad luck that helps us advance more in our quest for spiritual growth and healing as opposed to when things are just fine or going well for us. This is because when things are going good, there is little incentive or motivation to do things differently: if it ain’t exactly broke, why the hell would you want to fix it in the first place?

It’s when things go sour, and worse, when you are about to hit rock bottom that you are forced to do things differently or change your view and outlook on certain things. This is also directly related to my view of luck. I would consider myself lucky overall but have had ratches of not-so-good luck even though I have been working and trying very hard.

This has been felt and observed in my personal and professional life. I just could not help feeling that the cards seem to be stacked against me. Yes, I am blessed in many ways and very grateful for many good things that I have in my life but there has always been a cap, which I have found rather unreasonable and not proportional to the amount of work, effort, energy, and good will that I bring to the table. To put it more bluntly, I feel that I am not getting what I’m due and that I’m being short-changed in the process.

In other words, I’m still waiting for a lucky break, and karma just does not seem to be on my side. I do understand that this is a rather simplistic view of things, and it has a why me or oh-woe-me flavor to it. It reached its apex around two years ago when I was crossing the Burrard bridge after a Cosmic Night event at the Space Centre. I had just missed the bus and was stuck in the cold with both my professional and personal life in shambles at the time.

They still are by the way but I have come to accept that things do take their time, that even though I experience headwinds they do not last forever – albeit a really long time – and yet, I have to keep trying and preserve my vision and pursue my dreams despite the odds. This is often difficult and very frustrating when things do not work out for no apparent reason. It is like studying very hard for an exam and still failing it over and over again.

It feels not fair, and one may even feel entitled to get angry and lash out, but this is not how I want to react from now on. I want to continue working and trying hard for its own sake by not expecting (immediate) results. And in fact, ever since I am focusing only on the path and the journey by lessening my own wishes and expectations, I find myself in a much happier state. All I can do is to be true to myself and try as hard as I can.

Certainly, the desire to have tangible outcomes is important, and without it, I would be deluding myself but at the same time, expecting things to work out simply because one puts in the effort goes counter to how real life and karma work. There is a lot to be happy about and it is my own negative – and why not spell it out: toxic – way of seeing things that gets in the way of my own happiness.

What if things are going exactly the way they are and they are supposed to go and that my own luck and happiness with smooth sailing are just around the corner but that I cannot see it yet? What if the next curve or curve ball will lead me to my own treasure, not only an outer one but more importantly an inner one?

And yet, I feel very happy, and yes, lucky, and the rest shall fall into place sooner or later. What I need to do in the meantime is to empty myself from certain unreasonable and inflexible demands of the petty and limited ego voice and be open and receptive to what shall come my way and then embrace it wholeheartedly. It most likely is not what I expect but it may be in fact even better. And it’s going to be about time that my chickens will come home to roost, and my horse will finally win the highly coveted and cherished Kentucky Derby!

Out of this World: My Lower Back Pain and Space Genetics with Christopher Mason

Over the past years, I have attended the Don Rix Distinguished Keynote Addresses with great enthusiasm and almost religious fervor. And no, it’s not just because of the food and wine (full disclosure: we receive a complimentary drink coupon) but it is for the distinguished speakers who share and present their research and various insights with all of us.

In fact, I have seen a number of speakers on different topics at this wonderful annual Genome BC event starting with Dr. Clare M. Fraser on the human microbiome in 2019, the pandemic-induced virtual event with Carl Hansen in 2020 (alas no food or drink for that one!), then had Dr. Caroyln Hogg talk about koalas and Tasmanian devils in 2022, followed by the always interesting and outstanding Wade Davis (the author of The Serpent and the Rainbow) talk about "The Wayfinders of Genomic Wisdom" in 2023, and just last year, we had Dr. Sam Aparicio help us decode cancer and its management via the genomics revolution.

So here we are in 2025 and I was looking forward to Dr. Christopher Mason’s talk entitled “Space Genetics: Epigenetic evolution in Cancer, and a 500-year plan for Synthetic Biology” which was almost as bonkers as Wade’s brilliant address and I should have expected it based not only on the title but the slightly erratic and idiosyncratic spelling thereof. As someone who can be analytical and structured, I found the random capitalization or rather non-capitalization of certain words like evolution and plan to be equally disconcerting and enticing.

That Monday started off with a low-grade lower back pain, which I decided to completely ignore and disregard and went to the gym, nonetheless. I wanted to embrace the “No pain, no gain” mentality for a change. That said, the subsequent walk to the Convention Centre was difficult to say the least. Not only was I space walking in slow-mo with various involuntary stops due to sharp back pain but I realized and understood why lumbago is called “Hexenschuss” (literally "shot by witches") in German. I pictured three witches in black rolling with laughter and putting pins in that precise area of my back as I was trying to walk down the streets.

There were moments I considered dropping by the emergency room worried whether I would be able to make it there if the pain continued and increased proportionally. And yet, the pain-gain correlation was still fresh in the back of my mind, and I really did not want to miss out on this talk on space and genomics. I made it there in one piece, found my seat and decided to sit still and not budge for the remainder of the address.

Next to me were a couple of math teachers – I assume this because one of them was marking a bunch of math exams before the talk commenced. Those numbers and symbols were the root cause of some trauma for me, and I was going to tell her this was giving me PTSD. Then, I thought, she probably did not want to hear this from me and instead noticed how the lack of physical movement was good for my back.

And so, the event started after the usual predictable openings, introductions, and formalities, which I would have gladly skipped on a recording but unfortunately, you cannot really do that at live events. I was eager to see what Dr. Christopher Mason was all about and I was not to be disappointed. He did not mince words and started right away with a journey to Mars and asked us whether the body can survive such a physically and mentally demanding voyage.

What were the potential risks and hazards and how could they be circumvented or be accounted for? There were drills and exercises starting in parabolic flights in the 50s to simulate and prepare for such trips to space, including a rather hilarious video of cats floating in microgravity. This was not all fun and games as the scientific question of whether cats would land on their feet when in space was probed and examined in rigorous detail. The answer is no. I wondered if people felt back pain in space and whether one could say “no gravity, no pain”? The question did not occur to me at the event, so unfortunately, I did not ask him there and then.

By using NASA Twins Study, with Mark Kelly being on earth and Scott Kelly in space, scientists were able to discern and note some key differences between the two. Scott Kelly, who was in space, had certain changes to his genes: he got taller and younger! Sadly, those effects did not last but the interesting finding was that his telomeres were longer. These had something to do with the aging process, i.e. a positive effect, but they seemed to be also somewhat corelated with cancer. You just can’t have it all, can you now?

The interesting observation here was how the immune system responds to gravity and how gene expressions could be turned on and off in that process. Everyone is different, not only on earth but also in space and we all have different stress responses. By engaging in space omics studies, there is a lot that can be learned from all of this. (There are the inherent drive and desire to study pregnancies in space but that is obviously ethically questionable. Apparently, according to the records, there has been officially no sex in space, but that statement seems rather doubtful and perhaps unrealistic; anyhow, this particular study has been put on hold for now.)

The other aspect to study is the effects and changes of the microbiome. Dr. Mason gave the examples of crowded elevators or physical sports where microbiomes are shared and exchanged freely and copiously, which sounds like great fun. The most telling and slightly disturbing example of microbiomes was his daughter’s first visit to New York in which she licked a subway pole, which would be a most terrifying event in any parent’s life but putting on his scientific hat, he found the question rather intriguing.

As a result, they swabbed whole areas to find out. A simple lick snowballed and led to a full-fledged study, which demonstrated that 50% of found organisms were unknown. I found this shocking and terrifying, but Christopher Mason seemed rather at ease and nonchalant about it all including the discovery of 11000 new viruses. He claimed that they were not dangerous and that it all depended upon one’s immune system but licking random poles may be “probably fine” as he was later (mis)quoted in the media.

Now the question is how could we improve not only the microbiome but also make genetic modifications that could help an astronaut survive (and may I add thrive) in space? This would form a sort of protective shield or mechanism where certain genes could be turned on or off at will. For instance, apparently, we have a gene that can produce Vitamin C but that is turned off and no longer used.

Why would that matter? Well, here’s an interesting tidbit of information: both cats and dogs can produce their own Vitamin C, and this is why they do not get scurvy. Us humans, however, need to ensure we get our dose of this vitamin to protect ourselves from this disease. Why not just turn on the gene and be all right? And what would be the repercussions in terms of other diseases and the treatment of cancer and genetic illnesses? These are realities and possibilities thanks to many advances made in genomics and gene technology, such as epigenetic CRISPR.

This was an interesting mix and exploration of genetics and space, merging the micro with the macro world. As Chris (we are on a first-name basis now) remarked our time on this planet and this universe is limited seeing that we shall experience either a Big Crunch or a Big Rip sooner or later. It is shocking that regardless of what we do or don’t do to each other and our species on this planet, there is an expiry date attached to the universe.

And that would make space exploration a necessity for survival. And one of the biggest takeaways here is that we should preserve and keep hope alive and not be crushed by worries or back pain, which incidentally went away after a couple of glasses of red wine, courtesy of Genome BC.

Ode to Astrology: That Cursive Writing in Them Skies Above

“Que será, será.

Whatever will be, will be.

The future's not ours to see.”

Doris Day

I cannot but marvel at the night sky canvas filled with stars and imagine how they influence our lives on this tiny blue planet. We have various tools at our disposal to try to make sense of what is happening to our human lot down here and they can range from philosophy and religion to astrology and the occult arts and humanities. I am omitting sciences here not because I don’t believe in them or their utility but rather because disciplines like biology tend to be microcosmic and reductionistic in nature and are often set and grounded in their views and outlook; to illustrate, the one astronomy course I took as an elective (and as one of my science requirements) bored me to tears despite its grand scope and scale.

Astrology is to me akin to psychoanalysis like a distant cousin or a half-sister. It expresses a deep hidden truth that the more earthbound sciences (choose to?) miss out on. Astrology not unlike Tarot or I Ching dives into the unconscious and unearths gems and treasures that are not visible to the naked eye and impervious to cold facts and hard-boiled logic. It is not about selecting one or the other; it is about acknowledging that reason is valuable but so is our intuitive sense, something that we often ignore, underplay, or disregard to our own detriment.

Full disclosure: my own personal relationship with astrology has been spotty. I have managed to cover the whole gamut and spectrum starting off with teenage curiosity and with my young adult version casting doubts, as he was skeptical about its claims whereas at this stage of my life (i.e. midlife crisis), I find myself on the other side, hence completing my character arc from a cautious believer to a full-fledged fan and perhaps a few steps short of being a fanatic.

That I should eventually embrace astrology again and more warmly should not come as a surprise because I have been a fervent believer in oracles with some decades-long practice of reading and consulting Tarot cards that have been spot-on, precise, and uncanny in their predictions, alongside my unusual and uncommon habit of finding numerous playing and occasionally Tarot cards on the streets that would then guide me in my personal and professional life, including and most notably The World Tarot card, which at the time encouraged me to continue not only with my blog endeavor (Arash’s World) but to expand into podcast territory. The signs spoke, and I listened and acted upon them.

All these arts are linked and interconnected and are somewhat unfortunately labeled, stigmatized, and categorized under the occult rubric, which if you strip away the negative connotations can be simply seen as the diving into the unknown, a mysterious and mystic yet certainly existent and feebly tangible realm of sorts.

So what made me reconsider and turn around and embrace astrology more firmly? On a more objective level, I began to wonder how large physical bodies in space can affect each other in different ways. This goes beyond the gravitational push and pull and I’m not referring to spooky entanglements (though they are assuredly cool) but it also includes how emotions and perhaps outcomes may be influenced by a physical body from afar.

The moon does not merely affect the ebbs and tides but also our emotions, leading to restless and sleepless nights for some or a general surplus of positive and negative feelings for others. All the while, the moon is such a small body compared to the innumerable stars and planets all around us, and so, it is not farfetched to acknowledge that there may be something there.

Yet, more importantly, I have seen the stars work their magic on a more personal level. On one hand, there seems to be consensus and overlap among different readings and horoscopes. Of course, there may be fluctuations in how the data is interpreted and represented according to the given astrologer but there tends to be enough common ground across the board. A parallel I could think of, and I have mentioned earlier, would be psychoanalysis, another discipline that I moved heartily towards believing in its insights fervently and with all the fibers of my triple mind-body-spirit being.

Astrology like psychoanalysis is essentially an art form. For instance, a symbol in a dream may slightly change according to a psychoanalyst or the patient in question but there tends to be a general agreement and a baseline consensus among the professionals and practitioners.

Yet the poignant level of detail, depth, and accuracy never fails to surprise me in these fields. Sometimes my horoscope would not predict what happens but rather give me a very precise and uncanny snapshot of my emotional state of a given moment, which I can immediately verify to be true, and which is a staple of Tarot card readings that are referring to past or present circumstances.

At times, it may feel as if someone either has found access to my thoughts or to my journal or even both but that’s crazy talk of course, even crazier than what I am contemplating and saying in this blog post. But there is an at times jarring and spinetingling realization that there is more than is apparent to the eye or the logical brain.

I want to thank astrology and all astrologers that are engaged in this noble profession and who day in day out face the skeptics and non-believers with poise and confidence and their heads up; they know this to be true deep in their hearts and souls and are fully aware that their profession is noble and of help to others. Astrology is not unlike religion, but it is freer and more precise while fluctuating according to outward circumstances. It is about reading the signs and then coloring and interpreting them but one does not control the signs and becomes only a messenger and transmitter of them.

Also, over the last year or so, astrology has been serving as my unofficial guide and therapist (interestingly a both cheaper and more accurate and more competent one). What used to be sporadic findings of cards is now a regular daily practice for me. Not all predictions and observations are and come true of course. But when they are right, they are exact. And it is sometimes hard truths that I must face while also offering encouragement when I find myself drenched in doubt or stuck in a quagmire. The other benefit is that this source, like the other occult practices, is wise and sees beyond oneself in space and time and it can even read other people’s minds and intentions.

In a sense, Doris Day gets it wrong. The future can be read if you look at it closely. It is like reading tea leaves, runes, or cards; at the same time, you do not need any of them, you just need to understand to read the signs, which comes in the shape of coincidences (which incidentally do not exist and are not coincidental after all), happenstance, synchronicity, and intuition. The latter is similar to gut feelings but goes much deeper and is often harder to discern yet much more accurate and reliable with its straight and express connection line to the heart.

Moreover, there are two realms that exist simultaneously and may or may not be connected to each other. On one hand, the free will that we have, and which often comes with a surplus of mistakes and errors (such is the lot of being an imperfect human), while the other domain is fate, namely that which is embedded and engraved in the stars and cannot be changed, moved, or altered. Occasionally, they may be linked to each other in a certain degree or angle, at least in the sense of awareness, where one needs to come to a certain conclusion or gain certain insights so that one can fully embrace and embark upon one’s destiny.

I believe that many of our major life changes, including our eventual demise, fall into the fixed and permanent category. We can rail against it; we can try to avoid it, lock ourselves up in a bunker or a germfree hotel but when the time has come, we must leave one way or another. There’s no escaping that part of our fate.

Intuitively, I feel that finding true love or encountering one’s soul mate is also part of that domain. This gives me a sense of hope with a certain relief since I may, with my free will, mess things up (romantically things almost always go haywire but not always nor necessarily due to my own fault and misgivings) but that the stars will already know this and take it into account by correcting, adjusting, and guiding me along the way. Eventually, they will put me on the path that I am meant to tread as opposed to the maze I am currently finding myself in. To quote from a motet by Bach (though not the one you are thinking of), I do not let you, but you bless me, nonetheless. *

 

*“Ich lasse dich nicht, du segnest mich denn” BMV 1164 by Johann Christoph Bach who was Johann Sebastian’s father’s cousin and not to be confused with Bach’s son Johann Christoph Friedrich Bach.

Quinn Memorial Lecture 2025: Selective Attention and the Inner versus the Outer World

It is that time of the year again when I venture out to UBC to engage and grapple with the current year’s Quinn Memorial Lecture. This time around, I had to rush to make it on time as my online university course ended just an hour before the event was set to begin. But as usual, I ended up being early, so I had more than enough time to settle comfortably and wait for the lecture to start.

In fact, I have been going to the series for over a dozen years now. The first talk I attended was on “Free Will, Neuroscience and Personal Responsibility” by Michael Gazzaniga. There were a couple of Quinn Memorial Lectures I had to miss due to work scheduling conflicts, and then, there was the pandemic, which crossed out and canceled entire lectures and events across the board, including a beloved concert series celebrating my then-favorite composer Ludwig Van. (In case, you’re curious, my post-pandemic go-to composer has been Mozart, so in either case, I find myself in excellent and capable hands.)

Back to our sheep, as the French would say. Incidentally, today’s topic was selective attention and for someone whose mind tends to wander, not so much because of a lack of focus but rather on focusing on too many things at once, I was curious to learn more about this tendency of mine. Digression is my middle name as you may note and witness in this post of mine, heck, who am I kidding, the whole blog is all about digressing!

But I digress. Yet I must confess that from the get-go, my attention was split. I was there to listen and take notes because it is something I do at these lectures with the aim of reproducing the content as faithfully as I am able, alongside my own thoughts and reflections. But the split existed since the Winnipeg Jets were fighting for their survival at the Stanley Cup series, so I would glance or could not help peeking at the scoreboard, which updated the score on an infrequent basis.

The title of this talk was, as you may have already noted in the image, “Focusing attention on sensory x memory contents to guide behavior” by Dr. Anna C. Nobre, who was inexplicably nicknamed and addressed by everyone as Kia. So, I shall permit myself to continue with the same trend.

Kia’s talk was about the outward and inward arrows of attention, their influence and interplay in relation to memory, both stored and incoming. As she stated in one of her slides (I’m not making this up nor reciting from memory here): “Memory and attention work together linking past and future to guide adaptive behavior.”

So, what does this mean? Well, on one hand, we have stimulation, which could be objects or events that lead - or at least have the potential to lead - to perception and action. At the same time, this interacts and is in flux with our internal attention, which is comprised of memories, either in our working memory or as part of our long-term memory. This then works as a way of anticipating, prioritizing, and selecting information, data, and stimuli, and would then potentially trigger or prime our reactions and actions upon them.

In other words, we have not only a perception and action loop, but we are dealing with our own cognition and objects in space versus objects in time (basically moments in space) as well as the inner world, thoughts, reflections, feelings, emotions, distractions, what-have-you. That includes and involves stimulation and processes that have been stored in the past leaving trails and traces in the present moment.

Hence, selective attention is not a state but a function. Put differently, goals and objectives from the inside are guiding the process of attention, whether we acknowledge this or not, and they all interact with the outside world. These “memory traces” then aid us with picking up signals and relevant cues from the world.

In these cases, voluntary and involuntary attention are happening together, and this is a highly dynamic system, which can also be flexible and reversible as we are actively engaging with the world. This is occurring because the brain is shifting and moving constantly between intangible memories and concrete sensory objects.

To illustrate this, we can look at two different examples. Imagine you are sitting cross-legged and meditating. Your focus is on your breath. Now as you are predominantly switched to our inner world, the outer world may be tugging on your attention strings. At this point, we are ignoring the inner distractions, such as random thoughts seeping into your focus, and we will also ignore and disregard the pain or discomfort in your legs as you are not new to this meditation practice, at least in this scenario.

But what about the car alarm sounding on your street? You may immediately switch back to your meditation because it is not yours. As a matter of fact, you don’t even have a car, so you’re all good. The situation would be different if it was your building’s fire alarm. At that point, you would most likely - and hopefully - stop the meditation and quickly get yourself to a safe place.

Here we see how the inner and outer world is vying for your attention, but you are selecting and prioritizing which one to attend to. In my next example, the situation is more complex as you are about to fulfil a task: making coffee.

Now as I have written previously on “How the Brain makes Coffee and dislikes Multitasking,” according to cognitive psychologist David Badre, a seemingly simple task is much more complicated than we think; making coffee involves a number of processes that are previously stored in our memory and this is being retrieved and held in our working memory as we are going about the given task. In this case, we are also dealing with sequencing as you need to put in the coffee before running the water, or else, you just end up with hot water.

But what happens when the unexpected intrudes and disrupts your whole procedure? What if the filter is not in its usual place, or worse, you have actually run out of filters? In such situations, your focus would shift toward the outer world where it is not about making coffee but finding a way of procuring the necessary bits and pieces to make it happen. Coffee, especially in the morning, is the tangible object we want to physically drink not to just imagine or think about.

In such situations, you may resort to creative thinking or even use your intuition to solve problems. In fact, that was the question I asked Kia. She told me it was a good one but at this point, she was looking at simpler tasks and experiments so that she could provide the facts and hard data on them.

Once these were fully established, the goal would be to do more complex sets of experiments to test such fascinating and more juicy (my word not hers) concepts and notions like creativity and intuition. Although inherently interesting, it is also admittedly much tougher to study.

It is great, however, that the groundwork is being set. In her lecture, she gave a number of experiments they had done, including some that involved retrocue tests and other studies that measured and studied tiny movements of the eye, and those ended up being moments where my selective attention zoned out and focused on other matters, so my memory and knowledge are hazy regarding these points.

The simple fact is that I did not find them interesting enough to warrant my attention. This is perhaps the main reason that I’m not a psychologist. The most interesting aspects of human nature are hard to pinpoint and prove in a matter-of-fact scientific way, especially since each individual is different and their inner world is inherently unique and not comparable to others. This has also been a failing, in my view, of Freud’s overall attempt to turn psychoanalysis into a science. But guess what? Oops, I did it again! I digressed.

Nonetheless, there are a few takeaways that I found most interesting in the 2025 Quinn Memorial Lecture that I would like to flesh out here. First off, as previously mentioned, it is not either/or, or one or the other but these shifts of attention can occur very quickly and even simultaneously. When crossing domains, it will have an effect on reaction time and there may be accuracy costs, and there are studies to prove that.

Furthermore, there is no “domain police” (Kia’s words) whereas other control functions and parameters may be at play. It may even be a battle or an interplay between external and internal domains. In other words, at times, they may be at odds, and at other odds, they may be working together hand-in-hand.

In the end, our brain wants to help us and help us figure things out. Another interesting bit about the brain that Kia mentioned is that the brain is frugal and super lazy. I shared that observation with my teenage son, and he agreed whole-heartedly with the finding from personal experience.  

In fact, the brain does not want to waste energy and tries to do as little as possible to get things done. This is not necessarily a bad thing as there are a lot of things on the brain’s plate, so it tries to cut corners as much as possible. Yet, in certain situations, this may complicate things or lead towards actions that are not in our best interest.

For instance, when we need quick information, we may rely on experiences that may be too general, and in some cases, they may be inaccurate or not offer a whole story. We may pounce upon or hold onto salient images or perceptions in our mind that are not based on rigorous analysis but on vague feelings or impressions. In those cases, we may be vulnerable and susceptible to hear-say, gossip, or prejudices instead of taking the time and effort to look at the situation in a more objective, balanced, and reasonable manner.  

A final thing that Kia mentioned in this talk is that essentially everything is in our head. This is because we perceive the world through our eyes, thoughts, and experiences. In fact, she admitted that there is nothing but inner world and that everything is essentially thought or experienced through and by each of us. Yet such essentially mystic musings would preclude any kind of scientific study, so we need to accept, confirm and reaffirm the outer world as a separate entity, which interacts with us in the same way that we interact with it.

And in that process, we learn and grow and gain knowledge and wisdom. But to do so, we ought to first overcome our inherent neuroscientific laziness, we need to accept that we do not already have all the knowledge and information at hand – that we do not know it all - and then, choose and select to be open and flexible to incoming information, stimulation, and experiences, these objects and moments in space and time.

 

The Sudden Awakening of Canada’s Slumbering National Pride

These are strange times when one must not only state the obvious but also mean it and wholeheartedly stand by it: Canada is an independent sovereign nation. It is not a state of another country, it is not up for sale, and it wants to live in peace and harmony with its neighbors. The fundamental values of liberty, freedom of choice, equality, human rights, and democracy are not only cherished and valued here, but we know deep in our hearts and bones that they are worth fighting for.

Yes, Canada is relatively young and not a perfect country, but it has forged ahead with strong values and good and well-meaning intentions while also setting itself apart from its neighboring superpower by making conscious choices and efforts steeped in peacemaking and respect of other nations, cultures, and ethnicities with an official bilingual system and a living practice and emblem of multiculturalism.

There is lot to be proud of, and yet, it is rarely demonstrated or talked about in terms of national pride, for different reasons and under separate pretexts. As an immigrant to Canada, I was surprised to see how Canadians often downplayed and subdued national pride. Unlike their often boisterous and unapologetically proud neighbor, this northern side of the continent was rather humble and humbly modest.

Almost sixty years ago to the day, we officially adopted our red and white Maple Leaf flag but they were not waved about unless there was a serious international hockey game in the offing, and flags could be spotted here and there - albeit diminishing in recent times - on the first of July, Canada’s Day and a sort of counterpart to the July 4^th of our American neighbor - minus the grand festivities, the overflowing enthusiasm, and the fireworks.

Why do Canadians not embrace their nation more wholeheartedly, I asked myself, a previous asylum seeker who has grown up in Germany. Here in Canada, there seemed to be a block and reluctance to freely express national pride, as if Canadians were insecure about themselves and their nation or just incredibly shy to make any waves and as if they were uncomfortable putting themselves in the spotlight. Back in Germany, we would hear very little about this large country up north and would hence imagine snow-covered huts and cabins, waterfalls, diligent hard-working beavers, and lumberjacks hunting for bears.

And yet, this modest poise and calm seem like a cool outward veneer, a type of facade that could be punctured, and then erupt in wild and sudden outbursts, particularly during hockey games where bodychecks would be dispensed and delivered with glee and the gloves would be dropped; in fact, fighting has become a staple of this popular national sport.

Who could tell, especially if day in and day out, we would see Canadians everywhere apologizing for everything regardless of if they were at fault or not, and they would be walking on eggshells afraid of accidentally and even unconsciously offending others and avoiding microaggressions like the plague, except of course, the previously mentioned fighting in the ice rink, which was more bravura and fun and games than a blood sport.

This contrasted with the brash expression of Americans and the direct and upfront demeanor of Germans. With each of these nationalities, there would be not much mincing of words and especially with the former, there would be no shortage of personal, often unsolicited opinions no matter how outrageous they would seem to others. Germans in terms of their nationality and the expression thereof were heavily burdened by their horrible and devastating past and their flags would be the exclusive domain of international soccer games, their source of pride but also the vortex of pain considering the lack of success and accomplishments in recent times.

Yet the American dream and this lavish, carefree, and often careless lifestyle were filled with an enthusiasm, a sense of freedom and unfiltered patriotism that in some ways are the envy of many countries, including us here in Canada. Evidently, the American experiment is not without its flaws, detours, or shortcomings. The issue of race and the unconcealed practice of slavery as well as oppression of others tend to be ignored or brushed aside.

Moreover, the involvement in political wars and international affairs, be it Vietnam or the Middle Eastern wars are downplayed and even ignored, while the focus and attention are posited more on positive results and outcomes, be it their budding economy, their innovation, their steadfast and unwavering determination and the firm handheld belief that anything is indeed possible, and no dream is out of reach. These are commendable perspectives and attitudes as long as they are carefully calibrated, and checked and counterbalanced with the negative aspects and counterparts, the push and pull and gravity of truths and reality.

When it comes to Canada, we seem to have been carrying an invisible stain of guilt and shame all along and this exploded when news hit us regarding the atrocities of residential schools. No nation is perfect, and every country has its dark side and its bleak past, but this hit hard and temporarily sank the little pride that Canada still had in itself. The same way blindly believing in oneself despite and against the facts and reality can be detrimental to the psyche, being haunted and weighed down by feelings of guilt and shame are also harmful.

Over the past years, this has gone into overdrive with the implicit approval and even insistence of the government. Any person who was or could be oppressed was hailed as a hero and any who had privilege, whether merited or not, whether through their hard work or not, was seen as potentially evil or was seen as part of the problem. Not only would a large portion of the population be accused of engaging in “microaggressions” – a vague term that could be applied to pretty much anything - on a daily basis, but they would also be considered racist unless they were from a minority, who were incidentally given carte blanche and were automatically and a priori exempt from any potential blame or wrongdoing.

This led to an obsession and preoccupation of offending or slighting others that it became even frowned upon to wish someone Merry Christmas or for busses to support our local hockey team because anyone who did not like hockey would and could be potentially offended. This misguided relativism dilated, weakened, and undermined many of our traditions, practices, and even values, so we wished people happy holidays to be as inclusive as possible while ironically excluding large swaths of our population.

This untenable and unsustainable state continued, and people would even avoid saying “Happy Canada Day” as if the nation was a dirty word and needed to be eradicated and replaced with something else or a different name. Any citizen with an ounce of national pride would be cancelled or ridiculed and be “educated” and put on the supposedly right path and side of history.

All this continued and put in question our identity and values until our very own sovereignty and existence came under threat. It was a seeming running “joke” by the American president that was actually meant as a serious comment underlining and harboring a malignant intention of usurping this young country that has stood on its feet and has a strong reputation and standing in the world. Suddenly, we all woke up, put our elbows up and showed grit and stamina that no one, perhaps not even ourselves, thought we had.

Suddenly we realize that we have taken so much for granted as we have either wallowed in self-pity, shame and guilt or were divided and polarized, with all of this weakening our resolve, will, and confidence along the way. Yet this existential threat to our land and our home put us back on the map. We may have weakened but we remain strong and resilient, and we can come together and fight for our freedom and independence as we have done in the past and shall in the future.   

Romanticizing versus Demonizing the Other: How the Left Was Lost and Where it Got Us

Coming off two interesting back-to-back days in February, namely Valentine’s Day on February 14^th and National Day of the Canadian Flag on February 15^th, I have felt motivated (or rather driven/compelled) to write about certain issues that have been on my mind for quite some time while these two dates provide a good reason and convenient excuse to share them with you here.

They will be presented in two parts: The first one deals with the dangers and threats of romanticizing the past and others and it is something that is contributing tremendously to division and polarization in our common era, while the second will give an honest and unflinching look at Canadian patriotism (or lack thereof) as well as issues and potential threats around it, especially when viewed under the current political lens and climate.

As a self-professed (incurable?) romantic, love and romance have been close to my heart starting since early adolescence. Even my thesis has dealt with this topic, in fact, the potential threats, heartbreak, and disillusionment that can come with a distorted view on love and longing stemming from reading (and believing) romance and chivalrous novels whereas my most recent novella that I am putting the finishing touches upon is about the quest for true lasting love.

Yet the romantic ideal and the act of romanticization are not limited to love and romance alone; it can be part of a distorted perspective on reality, what is often referred to as seeing the world through rose-colored glasses. This may be in relationships where we only focus on what we want or wish to see within ourselves and others by only focusing on the positive aspects alongside the tendency of putting the other person on a pedestal and turning them into a goddess or a knight in shiny armor. Often, this dream or fantasy will clash with reality and turn to dust when we realize that these wishes have not been grounded in reality but are an offshoot of wishful or even toxic positive thinking.

Yet these rose-colored glasses can be applied to anything including a perspective that romanticizes the past, different lifestyles or even certain people. We talk about the “good old days”, but the view is often selective and distorted. Although certain things may have been better in comparison, there are still challenges that we would conveniently ignore, downplay, or disregard. It is a case of rearview confirmation bias where we only highlight points that correspond to our current view by shunning or ignoring anything that runs counter to that narrative.

It is true that life used to be different without technology and there are certain things we have lost along the way. Yet, at the same time, there is so much we have gained and so the discussion of the impact of technology on our lives must be taken in a balanced way and not be seen as a polarized or polarizing issue. We would like to have clear-cut answers, but things and life are messier and more complicated than that.

I have previously written about this romantic view not so much in the sense of romance but rather the romantic period where nature and the simple and "primitive" life was glorified to an unrealistic and even dangerous degree and level. It is essentially a naive and distorted view because in the case of wildlife, it can be utterly dangerous to assume that the animals are well-meaning, docile, and humane as was the tragic experience of the Grizzly Man and an implicit error in transcendentalism as a rule.

This distorted view is most prevalent and dangerous in the current mentality and approach regarding morality. In the past, religious groups would claim to have privileged access to the truth and assume that their morality was superior to anyone else’s. Essentially, those who were acting not only in “good faith” but also within the parameters of their chosen faith were expecting and counting on being rewarded in this life as well as the afterlife by gaining and fully deserving their entry ticket to paradise. On the other hand, everyone else would burn in hell, spend time in purgatory, desperately roam the heavens and the earth, or its equivalent.

As a result, whether consciously or not, these adherents of their chosen religion and dogma would adopt and embrace a holier-than-thou attitude in relation to others and everyone else not within their group and community. They would perceive themselves as having special status and being lifted in the eyes of their God or their divinity of choice. Although many religions preach tolerance and equality, in terms of morality, the other would still be seen and regarded as a heathen or an ignorant and primitive person.

This superiority complex or bigotry would be pronounced in those who embraced their belief with the most fervor and who would not allow for any compromise or concessions, firmly believing that their way was not only the right way but also the only way to be and live. In other words, in this extreme view, everyone else was considered wrong and there would be no middle ground or half-way compromise to speak of.

Now what used to be the purview and domain of religious fundamentals has been adopted by the secular far-left. It is the same playbook, minus religion or divinity. The perception that the view of this radical faction is the only and "correct" way of seeing things and that everyone else who opposes or even dares to criticize it is ipso facto a “heathen” (i.e. transphobic, racist etc.) and deserves to be excluded and shunned has been exemplified in what is commonly referred to as cancel culture. Again, no compromises, no concessions, no middle ground, not even a debate; it is our way or the highway and with it the death of your career, reputation or even your claim to personhood.

The most hardened religious and self-proclaimed social activists (aka warriors or heroes) would claim to know the truth and convert others by any means at their disposal to their uncompromising view; they would even use force, bullying, and physical, mental, and emotional violence to conquer others and to make them see for their own good that the zealous proclaimers of social justice are and always will be in the right.

Debate or open dialogue would not be engaged in and would be even shunned and discouraged as these self-evident facts and truths would not be open for debate. Yet the truth is, deep inside, the ardent zealots fear and suspect that it would expose the fallacy of their logic and expose the shaky foundation their dogma and subsequent actions are built upon, and hence, you would have to accept it or else be ex-communicated and essentially become a pariah.

Although community and inclusivity are underscored, neither of them is practiced in these cases. In fact, the group is an exclusively inclusive community of sorts, only those who agree on all the points are allowed to become a member and everyone else is denied entry or cancelled in the first place.

In fact, no one is immune to this, and every single individual goes through constant surveillance and a vetting process whether they are aware of it or not. It is like using a magnifying glass to find the most minor word or phrase that could be twisted around and taken out of context and be used against the given person. Anything you say could be used against you used to be applicable only to those who got arrested yet in the left-o-sphere it applies even retroactively to anything you have said and done starting from your childhood years. Ironically, those who claim to be tolerant tend to be the most intolerant of the lot, and they jump to conclusions and do not embrace innocent until proven guilty.

This is the perfect environment and breeding ground to eliminate any doubt or critical thinking and to foster and increase groupthink. It is not different from how totalitarian governments operate, be they communist or fascist in their outlook.

In this process, certain people are romanticized and by extension others would be demonized. The poor are entirely blameless and innocent and seen as the oppressed and victims of greed and injustice while the wealthy are the enemies as they are perceived as oppressors. Communism in fact is driven less by love for the poor but hatred against the rich and this is exemplified by the popular phrase of (wanting to) Eat the Rich, which also contains elements of envy towards them since the have-nots deep inside would love to have what they do not have.

On the other hand, fascism sees their own race as superior to all others and with the right to decide over them, scapegoat and blame ethnic groups and to mistreat or even kill them if deemed necessary. It is essentially a black and white issue as this view operates under the implicit assumption and belief that every single person from a given race is good or bad.

The Nazis themselves embraced and committed to their view and framework and believed not only that they were superior but also that everyone else was inferior. It is the holier-than-thou belief in action. As a result, the fascists in their twisted and distorted mind and way of thinking did not see themselves or their actions as evil; in fact, they thought that they were doing good and acting for the common good.

This relative morality supposedly gives them and other extreme groups the right to strip, limit or take away people’s humanity and rights with a potential “license to kill” under the guise of moral justice and superiority. This includes communists attacking the wealthy, colonists attacking indigenous people, terrorists from the right and the left as well as jihadists targeting infidels or traitors to the cause, the nation, and the environment, or vigilantes killing off people that they believe and deem to be undeserving of life.

Violence seems justified for one’s cause and beliefs and this is dangerous territory no matter how morally justified the action may seem in the mind of its proponents. The end just does not justify the means, and people’s rights, and humanity should never be stripped of them regardless of their gender, race, belief, or sexuality. It is unethical to treat women unfavorably, the same way, it is unethical to be biased against men, the poor, the wealthy, Jews, Muslims, Christians, heterosexuals, transsexuals, and anyone else. No one is better nor ought to be above anyone else or above the law. This is something we tend to overlook, downplay, or excuse when it is our side doing it but it is and should be universally applied.

We say love is blind but so is hatred. This hypervigilant, uber-romanticized and ultra-sanitized vision does not only stain the present but goes back in time while also moving into the future. Apart from seeing things merely in black and white through the lens of good and evil, it is myopic and very limited in scope and vision.

It is with sadness that I must note that the left has lost not only its path but also its collective mind. As someone who used to be supportive of their ideals and principles, and you can find it expressed here in this blog over the span of many years, I can only shake my head vis-à-vis the developments over the past years and like André Gide realize that it is not what it claims to be, and that its remedy may be even worse than the disease.

It is a misnomer that the left is progressive. It is not so no longer as it has renounced progress, advancement and technology and has stumbled over its own feet and become stagnant, rigid, set, and fixed in their views. Trying to erase the past, to change it, to mold it according to their likes and dislikes or even worse, to ignore it all together will only add to the problem and not solve a single thing. Often, this is done not to shed light, knowledge, and understanding but out of resentment with the aim to stoke and to fan hatred against certain targets, which tend to be the usual suspects, white, male, racist, Christian colonizers or women by the name Karen.

True diversity means including others you may not see eye to eye or agree with. And if everyone in your book is a racist, then the parameters of your definition must be flawed, or there may be blind spots you are not consciously aware of. This is not about the romantic view of good versus evil but rather of different groups that are at odds and even culturally at war with each other and the need to accept a compromise that is acceptable to both sides and which does not merely represent the desire of one group over the other.

It is in fact one thing that the left has lost, to work towards a world where everyone is truly seen as equal, and everyone is judged, according to Dr. Martin Luther King’s dream and vision, by the contents of their character while no one is judged (favorably or unfavorably) by the color of their skin.